ECW – 1.2.96
-Highlights from Holiday Hell. That’s it…there were promos between the Gangstas and TPE, and that’s it.
-Oh, and this…Cactus presents Mikey, and the tag titles/TV Title to Raven. Raven calls Mikey a piece of garbage and says he doesn’t want him. Whipwreck says he doesn’t want to be with Raven, and Raven keeps shoving Jack into lockers.
ECW House Party 96 – 1.5.96
-Joey Styles gets three words out in the ring before Alfonso hits the ring, whistle in tow, and starts screaming about how he hates everything. Styles finally snaps and starts screaming at Alfonso, and how he ruins everything. Alfonso and Styles go face to face until Taz hits the ring and threatens Styles, saying he’ll fuck Styles up if he disrespects Alfonso again. 911’s music hits, but he doesn’t do anything, because Gordon hits the ring and clobbers Alfonso. Alfonso and Gordon then try to separate 911 and Taz.
-Taz clobbers some jobber in the ring, and Styles runs in and begs Taz to stop…Taz grabs Styles again, and once again 911 hits the ring…but this time the Eliminators hit the ring and take out 911. Jason and Alfonso embrace, and Total Elimination onto 911. Rey Mysterio Jr. runs out, though, and takes out the Eliminators….and I think this is the start of this match!
-Rey gets on 911’s shoulders and challenge the Eliminators into a chicken fight…so Saturn gets on Kronus’s shoulders…and Rey lands a SICK hurricanrana from atop 911 onto Saturn for the victory. Eliminators kill Rey with Total Elimination after the match…and the Pitbulls hit the ring to take out the Eliminators, and Francine beats the hell out of Jason. Francine gets hit with Total Elimination and everyone bails…except Jason, who tries to hit one with a chair. That doesn’t end well for Jason, but Francine is the loser here, getting stretchered out.
-Axl Rotten facing off against some young guy making his ECW debut…some guy named “Rob Van Dam”. !!!!!!!!!
-RVD gets the victory with the split-legged moonsault – when I first came him do that, I thought it was by far one of the coolest things ever.
-Woman brings 2 Cold Scorpio to the ring for his rematch against Mikey Whipwreck for the ECW TV Title.
-Referee goes down, and RAVEN? hits the ring. Raven stands face to face with 2 Cold, and then turns around and DDTs Whipwreck. 2CS powerbombs Whipwreck, hits his moonsault legdrop, and wins the TV Title for the fourth time.
-The SHAH, Hack Myers comes down….and he’s facing Taz. Alfonso comes out wearing an Emmitt Smith jersey – apparently the Cowboys and Eagles were playing in the playoffs that weekend.
-Alfonso cuts off the ring introduction of Taz – but the ring announcer introduces him anyway.
-Taz wins with the Kajihatime, and tells everyone to fuck off. Stay classy, San Diego.
-Here come the Dudleys, and Bubba’s facing off against the Gigolo, Jimmy Del Ray.
-Apparently Del Ray’s new bodyguard is Mr. Hughes. I’m amazed that ECW hired someone with so little talent.
-Styles says that Del Ray’s partner “flipped out and zipped over to the WWF, where he thinks he has a sunny future.”
-Mr. Hughes takes the mic after Bubba wins, and says he has someone that can teach Bubba proper English. “Perfect Strangers” hits, and SHANE DOUGLAS returns to ECW! Douglas says a lot of things need fixed around here, and says not only is he the world’s greatest wrestler, he’s the world’s greatest English teacher. He’s going to teach Bubba proper English, and slaps Bubba.
-Styles brings out Richards, Meanie, and Beulah, and seems impressed that Stevie made out with Missy Hyatt. Stevie says his new nickname is “Studly” Stevie Richards. He basically says that Raven’s neglected Beulah and is going to make out with her, and Beulah refuses. Stevie persists, and Beulah drops the bombshell – she’s pregnant! Um….what?
-THAT brings Raven out, who’s furious, and accuses her of fucking up her birth control. Beulah says it’s not Raven’s, and Raven beats the shit out of Stevie – Beulah stops him and says it’s not his either…IT’S TOMMY’S! Raven goes to choke Beulah out, and here comes Dreamer, taking out the entire Nest. So Beulah’s hooked up with Dreamer now??
-Sandman defends the ECW World Heavyweight Title against Konnan. Sandman wins by knockout, as Konnan couldn’t answer the 10 count…technically, neither could Sandman, since Woman drug him to his feet by his hair. :lol
-Stevie Richards squares off against Sabu. Surprisingly a really good match, and Stevie gets a nice pop as he’s carried out by the Meanie afterward.
-The Public Enemy against The Gangstas, and for the first time Styles bluntly states that TPE are headed to WCW.
-The Public Enemy wins and does their little goodbye speech. Later! At least I won’t have to deal with your stupid fucking viginettes in WCW.
