This has been a monumental week in the WWE with the debut of Sting and the impeachment of Triple H and Stephanie McMahon. Monday’s episode of Raw left me puzzled and in no way served to answer any of my questions from the previous night. Will this week’s episode of Smackdown be any different? Let’s find out! I’m Mark Haggerty and I’m here tell you What’s Cookin and What Doesn’t Matter.
Miz(dow) TV featuring The Big Show
Who was it that said every episode of WWE programming has to start with a talking segment? As the weeks progress I’m slowly beginning to change my attitude regarding the tag team champions. Jim Ross made an excellent point on his podcast this Wednesday when he pointed out that Mike Mizanin could be the next great manager in professional wrestling. Managers have seemingly gone the way of the giant panda and the sea turtle, only appearing in captivity or on rare occasions in the wild. But given the recent response to such personalities as Paul Heyman and Zeb Colter, it’s completely conceivable that pro wrestling managers are making a comeback. I’m more interested in the post-Series Big Show program than I had ever anticipated being. However, the credit is owed exclusively to the increasingly endearing Erick Rowan and his seven-foot-tall spinning heel kick. It’s always good to see Daniel Bryan, especially out of a neckbrace and in such high spirits. Part of me is hopeful that Daniel is going to be on TV for some time, but I think the WWE may just be using his superstar status to keep people engaged until Brock Lesnar returns to television. Or at least until the free month of November has ended.
The US Title Battle Royal from Raw
While I’m happy that Daniel Bryan followed up on the 20-man match he promised on Monday, I question any battle royal that is contested for a title in which the champion is involved. There have been championship battle royals and even Royal Rumbles in the past for vacant championships, but to have one superstar defend his belt against 19 other competitors is an outright absurd concept. Especially when being booked by a babyface authority figure to punish a heel. It just doesn’t make sense. Anyone who thought Rusev stood any chance of losing needs to take a step back and reconsider how long term booking is conceived. Not only was it a meaningless match, but it was interrupted partway through by a commercial. I refuse to be one of those people that complains about Raw going to break during a highly contested battle, they’re a live show—but on Smackdown? A two hour show with three days to edit? This took me completely out of a match that I was already tuning in to through my peripheral vision. I thought the spots between Miz and Mizdow and the Rhodes Brothers were most likely the highlight of the entire battle royal. I suppose the most important thing to take away from the entire presentation was Rusev’s ability to beat the odds and come out looking just as strong as ever. It also didn’t hurt that Rusev’s final elimination was the former World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger. As sort of a sidenote: Lana seems to be regarded by many as perhaps the most attractive Diva in the WWE. I can’t help but wonder if that has anything to do with her “evil” persona. Female villains always seem sexier than their heroic counterparts; Catwoman is way hotter than Batgirl—and who didn’t think that the Baroness was ALL THAT back in the day?
Kane’s Best Program in Years
I find it absolutely hilarious that Santino seems to have made his return and nobody is talking about it. It was mentioned online through several sources that Santino would be coming back to the WWE. I wasn’t sure if that accounted for his appearance on Raw, or if he was just on hand to help promote, “Jingle All The Wat 2.” I’ve never been a Kane fan—well I’ll take that back, I liked the character from his initial introduction until his first action figure was released and then I sort of lost interest. One of my best friends in the world is Kane’s absolute biggest supporter. When we went to Wrestlemania 27 in Atlanta, I convinced him to go tell Glen Jacobs, “Fake Diesel is my favorite character ever.” Long story short: Kane did not think that was very funny and now my friend’s favorite wrestler despises him. But I enjoy Kane in his role as Director of Merchandise or whatever it is, because it allows him to draw upon his natural comic timing in a far more appropriate atmosphere than when he was going to therapy sessions with Daniel Bryan. I even liked his appearance toward the end of Ryback’s battle with Seth Rollins, but more on that later.
Bray Wyatt: Shark Jumper
I can’t be the only person who feels as though Bray Wyatt’s peak has come and gone. This time last year, the third generation Eater of Worlds was white-hot and even began the 2014 calendar year competing in match after high-profile match with the biggest names in the company. He wrestled John Cena at Wrestlemania, not to mention Chris Jericho four months later at Summerslam. Yet now whenever the buzzards start circling, I all but cringe due to the clichГ©d hyperbolic promos and Cena-like predictability between the ropes. Bray Wyatt has successfully built himself as a character who goes to war with his words and I liked a good majority of what he had to say tonight. But at some point, even the most popular characters have to prove their prowess as professional wrestlers. I admire Bray’s style, and I think that if he was allowed to employ an arsenal more akin to the independent circuit, he would have a better chance at showcasing his unique abilities. Until then, i’m hopelessly dissatisfied with all of his work in the ring, making his promos practically meaningless. Sorry Internet, didn’t want to hurt your feelings.
Nikki Bella Has Arrived
Nikki Bella has surprised me, as well as a lot of other people I assume, by becoming the more proficient technician of the two sisters. I’m still not sure what’s going on as far as her relationship with Brie. The WWE gets a ton of heat due to the lack of consistency in its Diva’s Division, and if the Bella feud has in fact been silently dropped, this could be the single worst case of not following through on a storyline since Vince McMahon’s limo blew up. Despite that bit of confusion though, I’m happy with how both sisters are evolving into their own characters. Nikki’s promo was probably the best string of sentences she’s ever put together since making her debut. Not only was it not terrible—it was pretty incredible. She sold me when she hoisted the belt high in the air and proclaimed, “Take a look at what a real Diva’s Champion looks like.” I’m not going to go on another rant about how much I despise AJ Lee. I recently read an article claiming she, “acts as if she’s above it all,” and I couldn’t think of a better way to convey my own distaste for her. Whenever she’s forced to comment on anything kayfabe she comes across the same as a snarky teenager pretending to hate Christmas. It’s also been mentioned by numerous writers and podcasters that Mrs. Brooks has fallen into the sincerely unattractive habit of copying her husband’s promos, both in her mannerisms and cadence with which she speaks.
Is it “Ryback” or “THE Ryback”?
Bryan Alvarez from Wrestling Observer Radio always calls him “The Ryback,” so I’m sometimes a bit confused as to what to call him. I’m not going to dignify the nasty things that CM Punk had to say about Ryback with any kind of coverage, but I will say that I admire Ryback for his recent ring work and his dedication to improving. Seth Rollins continues to impress me with everything he does. He’s a truly talented individual, and I’m not sure there’s anyone on the WWE Roster that can touch him in terms of overall presentation. As far as Ryback, the Big Guy made some definite allusions to the late Ultimate Warrior during the bout, beating his chest and using his power to match skills with the technically-gifted Rollins. The WWE has gone overboard as of late in terms of incomplete finishes, but when protecting two of your most valuable commodities, certain precautions need to be taken so that nobody ends up on the bottom. Despite loving the softer side of Kane, I was stoked to see the Monster make his way to the arena rocking a Ryback shirt, only to feed The Big Guy more than he could chew. I think it’s important to maintain Kane as a special attraction, and not water his character down by involving him in meaningless storylines every week. This program with Ryback could prove to be an explosive rivalry, and I hope the angle is explored slowly and thoroughly. I also hope that Kane reverts to tights, abandoning the dress slacks in response to the destruction of The Authority.
Dawning of a New Day
Finally! When this trio first began sitting ringside studying their fellow superstars, the world collectively shouted, “The New Nation of Domination!” In the weeks and months that followed, I recall Xavier Woods saying on a number of occasions that they aren’t a group of black wrestlers, they’re just a group of wrestlers. Which is completely understandable; nobody ever considered DX a “white faction.” But then their vignettes began airing featuring an all-black church choir, and all three men acting almost like revivalist ministers. While I admit, it might be a bit prejudice to have automatically thought they were a black stable, they didn’t do anything to disprove that assumption over the past month. A solid match considering it was a six man tag set to reintroduce three characters. I was especially impressed with The New Day’s fluid teamwork. At one point there was a triple tag scenario which saw all three men engaged in a chain of triple-team offense. They are doing a phenomenal job of combining their strongest attributes, which was no more evident than when Big E catapulted Kofi clear over the ropes and onto all three of his opponents. The biggest story coming out of this essential squash match of course was the arrival of the New Day. Their celebration afterwards makes me wonder about the direction they’ll be taking as time goes on. I’m thrilled to see Kofi exhibited in a more compelling program, complete with a personality that his character has been sorely lacking since the end of Air Boom. The same can be said for Big E and Xavier, although they haven’t been hovering around the midcard nearly as long as their polished partner and former 4-time intercontinental champion Kofi Kingston.
Intercontinental Count-Out
I’m currently more interested in Luke Harper than Dolph Ziggler. I’ve never shared the common belief that Ziggler is an incredibly wrestler, but he is one hell of an athlete. He does things in the ring that appear almost effortless, but in reality are next to impossible when attempted by your average Tom, Dick, or Mark Haggerty. However whereas Dolph impresses me, Luke Harper intrigues me. Not since Bam Bam Bigelow have we seen such a superior-sized superstar move at the rate of speed as Harper. His cryptic stare and haunting hand gestures make him one of the most legitimately intimidating workers the WWE has featured in quite sometime. The leader in sports entertainment has always been able to build Giants to pit against their fan-favorites, but Luke Harper is perhaps the most individualistic big man since Mark Calaway donned a gray tie and rubber gloves in 1990. I really enjoy following Harpers movements from the moment the bell sounds. Every step he takes is methodically designated to convey his unpredictability. I mentioned earlier that I’m a huge fan of the way Erick Rowan is able to perform a spinning kick from seven feet in the air, and Harper is no different in his outlandish abilities. Upon looking at him, he doesn’t exactly fit the standard Intercontinental Champion’s mold as forged by Shawn Michaels and The Macho Man Randy Savage. But given his enormously unique repertoire, it can be argued that Luke Harper is exactly the sort of superstar that should be holding one of the most prestigious belts in wrestling. I was honestly afraid that Dolph might score the victory and was of course thrilled when he did not. Not that I’m opposed to Ziggler’s success, but after his performance at the Survivor Series, I’m convinced he doesn’t need a title to stand out. I really wish Harper could have picked up a pinfall though, especially with the foggy finish to the match with Rollins and Ryback. Regardless, it’s good to see the Intercontinental Championship used to close the show. Say what you will about the absence of Brock Lesnar and the WWE World Heavyweight belt, but it has done wonders to help promote both the US and Intercontinental titles.
A standard effort from Friday Night Smackdown, but in my opinion… It didn’t really matter. The debut of The New Day was my biggest takeaway from the show, despite an earnest effort made to provide more wrestling action than previous weeks. It’s been rumored that once Smackdown returns to Thursdays, we might start to see more compelling TV on what I’ve always lovingly referred to as, “Blue Raw.” But until then I’m less than hopeful anything of merit is going to go down on a show taped three days in advance. Well, that’s about it for me. I hope everyone enjoys their holiday weekend here in the United States and around the world. Be safe and enjoy your time with your friends and family. Until next time, I’m Mark Haggerty and thanks for reading.