Editors Note: I had the hardest time finding images for this event. It wasn’t on the WWE Network, so I couldn’t cheat and snag screen caps myself. Spent forever searching for pics, and decided it was a lost cause. So I apologize for the lack of images to spice up this article.
ECW Big Apple Blizzard Blast – 2.3.96
-Um…so I’m getting a little nervous here. This is from the Lost Battalion Hall…the same arena that we just saw on 1.30.96. I have a feeling that the event wasn’t actually from 1.30.96…but we’ll see.
-Heyman opens the show with cameramen from A Current Affair…I vaguely remember that show. What are they doing there?
-Anyway, we start out with Alfonso leading Taz to the ring to face an “extreme newcomer”, “the Shark Attack Kid”. What?
-Man…ECW’s ring announcer is FANTASTIC. They have two, I think, right? Because this guy doesn’t always do it…I think this is Gertner. He’s seriously great, though.
-Alfonso ranting…he hates New York, A Current Affair, and David Letterman.
-Styles with the line of the year: “Bill Alfonso’s commentary brought to you by Shiek Condoms…next time, think twice.”
-Taz calls out 911 after the beatdown…we get some shitty dubbed music, and Gordon comes out instead. He said 911 left the building, and doesn’t know why.
-Alfonso calls Gordon into the ring and slugs him…Gordon gets the beatdown going, and BAM BAM BIGELOW hits the ring. Alfonso FLIPS OUT and starts screaming that he doesn’t belong there, and to get his ass back to the WWF.
-Axl Rotten and El Puerto Ricano against…”MOfat and Maheem”, the Headhunters. Who ARE these guys? Part of me vaguely thinks I’ve seen them somewhere before.
-ECW World Heavyweight Champion Raven (whew, settles that worry) leads the Tag Champs, Whipwreck (unhappy about being in the Nest) and Cactus to the ring to defend their titles against The Eliminators.
-Mikey gets Total Elimination on him after he dropkicks Cactus in the back, and win the Tag Titles…kinda thought that might be coming.
-Raven shoves Whipwreck, and Cactus shoves Raven, saying he doesn’t touch Whipwreck…and then clotheslines himself. Raven and Cactus work over Mikey. Weird.
-Francine comes out…she’s turned on by two men who have gold. Not really – it was a ruse to have the Pitbulls come down and beat the hell out of the Eliminators. Francine cuts Saturn’s hair.
-What is this Fabulous Fargo Strut, and why does Styles reference Memphis every time Stevie and Meanie do it?
-OK, so I was right after all…Douglas and Dreamer are facing Raven and Stevie here.
– , Richards puts on a Razor Ramon shirt and flicks a toothpick at Douglas. Classic.
-Douglas and Dreamer get the win.
-Rey Mysterio Jr. squares off against the debuting Juventud Guerrera, who looks kinda strange. Different style mask than what he’d have in WCW.
-Mysterio gets the win…pretty awesome match.
-Oh boy…Bill Alfonso has discovered the whistle. *sigh* He says 911 “will never answer an emergency call for ECW again”. Is 911 gone at this point?
-Rey interrupts Alfonso and says he’s not afraid of Taz. Taz attacks…Rey owns him for about 15 seconds until Taz hits a dragon suplex, and then goes for a chokeslam…Rey flips out, and then gets caught in a German suplex. Bye bye Rey.
-J.T. Smith and Axl Rotten comes out, J.T. attacks Rey and Shah clears the ring…Styles hits the ring, and then Woman shows up?!?! And says she’s sticking around in ECW as well. Cue “Enter Sandman”.
-Woman interrupts and asks if he’s changed his mind…Sandman basically calls her a bitch. Woman says if anyone can physically remove her from ECW, to come on down…and Scorpio shows up. 2CS says he’s been in the limo with Woman “talking business, and business is good”. He then says “This bitch is outta here” and carries her out of the arena. Again. What?
-This time he carries her all the way outdoors though and has to go through a TON of snow, lol. He puts her in a limo and says “Take that bitch to Atlanta, she’s outta here!”
-Richards comes out to give Sandman the opportunity to back out of his rematch with Raven. The crowd gives a chant of “Sandman’s Gonna Kill You”. Sandman says no way, and Richards says either back out or the Meanie will Stevie Kick Sandman. Crowd chants “You Fat Slob” – Meanie gets the kick maybe to the Sandman’s waist, and gets a caneshot to the head. Sandman says he’s coming for Raven…”bitch.”
-Raven comes out. He says he gives Richards “this piece of fat hell as your lackey, and you get the crap kicked out of him every single time.” Then he blames Richards for Beulah missing her birth control pills, and for messing up the message to the Sandman. Richards apparently has a surprise – Raven says if it’s not a big one, he’s fired.
-Richards’ surprise is that he’s suing Missy Hyatt for sexual harassment. So of course, Missy Hyatt hits the ring…she says that was probably the best day of Stevie’s life. Raven gives Missy another option…join up with the champ. “It ain’t like you haven’t been there before.” Missy says Raven doesn’t measure up, and has a low sperm count. Raven threatens to take out Missy – and the Sandman saves her. Looks like Sandman’s got a new manager…
-J.T. Smith hits the ring to face everyone’s favorite, Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba wins.
-Mr. Hughes hits the ring. Not sure why this guy is around. Styles calls him “the man Lex Luger was afraid to fight” – what’s that about?
-Sabu is his opponent. Sabu wins. No surprise.
-Our main event is the Gangstas against 2 Cold Scorpio and The Sandman.
-2CS gets the win after spraying Mustafa with hairspray and rolling him up. Sandman dances to close the show.
