What's this—another debut? Is this Cheap-Heat.com or the New Superstar Initiative? Don't click the back button just yet, because you're in the right place. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and this is the debut edition of " Here Comes the Pain: Top 5 Moments from Smackdown." If you're a regular reader then you know I already do a " Top Five" for Raw and Impact, and figured the WWE's B-show deserved the same distinction. You can still read my in depth reviews with ratings over at Daily Wrestling News, but if you're after a quick look at the current state of Smackdown, this is the column for you.
5. Ryback Returns to Smackdown
Let's start things out with one of my least favorite wrestlers on the roster, making his return to a highly edited audience. The WWE Intercontinental Champion Ryback is in the house, and says that he's feeling better than ever. Not only that, but he says he's in a WWE ring—where he belongs. Ryback cuts a pretty awesome promo, complete with TitanTron examples of what his Staff Infection looked like. He said that he "Meat Hooked" the Staff Infection—and then he
"Shell-Shocked"
the Staff Infection. Just so he can get his "Big Guy Ass" to Portland. If only there was a market for muscular managers; I love it when the "Big Guy" talks, but I hate to see him wrestle.
4. Roman Reigns vs. Luke Harper
I don't really see the logic in putting Roman Reigns in direct competition with Luke Harper when the two are set to meet in
tag team
action at Summerslam. This match was everything you'd expect—two big guys staring each other down, with Harper doing the majority of heavy lifting for both individuals. Dean Ambrose and Bray Wyatt were both on hand, as they're each involved in the aforementioned tag match at �Slam. Before things can really get going, Bray Wyatt attacks Roman Reigns and causes the disqualification in favor of Reigns. Dean gets in the ring and the four begin to brawl as we head into a commercial break.
3. Naomi vs. Charlotte
I very much enjoy a nice one-on-one Diva's match. The NXT Women's division didn't get to where it is with tag team bouts, or multi-woman matches, or via scandalous stipulations. Tonight Charlotte has the opportunity to tear things up with the leader of "Team B.A.D.," Naomi. Naomi was on the verge of being the best female wrestler on the main roster, and although the "Diva's Revolution" has cast a shadow over the already established talents, I'm confident Naomi will be able to meet the newfound demand. Where the hell did
Cameron
go? Charlotte gets the victory over Naomi with the dreaded “Figure 8″ homage to the one and only “Nature Boy.”
2. Primetime Players vs. New Day
The Primetime Players have been in possession of the WWE World Tag titles longer than anyone could have expected. The always entertaining tandem of Titus O'Neill and Darren Young are as equally enjoyable in the ring as they are behind the broadcast desk. This week they're going two-on-two with Xavier Woods and Big E of the New Day. Kofi usually mixes it up inside the squared-circle, but this week the former Rastafarian Wrestler is happy to play manager and bring on the hype. An entirely enjoyable contest from start to finish with both teams gaining considerable offense throughout. The Primetime Players decided to tuck their tails and vacate, but the combined forces of Los Matadors and the Lucha Dragons kept them from running away. The �Players singled out the smallest of New Day members—Xavier Woods—and Darren Young hit him with the "
Gutcheck"
for the victory.
Kevin Owens & Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro & Neville
Tonight's main event stems from the opening segment wherein Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins blindsided Cesaro and Neville. For any and all of you independent wrestling junkies who like to complain about John Cena and Randy Orton—this is the match for you. Two former ROH World Champions versus Pac and a former wrestling
ICE CREAM CONE.
I thoroughly enjoyed this match, and thought the finish was well-executed and appropriately timed. Cesaro drags the champion to the center of the ring with the
Sharpshooter,
but Kevin Owens is ready to break things up. Rollins gets the pin after a roll-up with a handful of tights, but this fight is far from over. Owens put the boots to Cesaro after the match, but the
Swiss Superman
wasn't beat for that. He overpowered the number one contender to Finn Balor's NXT Title, and slammed him within Adrian Neville's trajectory. Cesaro and Neville might have lost the battle, but the
Red Arrow
to Owens means this war will continue to wage.
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