And I’m Like… (Reviewing Raw October 12th 2015)

This week has been a little slow at the restaurant, I’m thinking it was the nice weather over the weekend. My brother went in for open heart surgery this morning and from the looks of it everything went as smooth as it could have. He is heavily sedated until tomorrow, so I will probably visit then. Those were the ‘exciting’ things that happened in my life, oh and for and update, the homeless kid is now going to the high school. We were able to talk to teachers and keep tabs on him. He will get a meal and a ride to school if he shows up at 7 A.M. everyday, let’s hope this keeps up!

Raw Opening

• Kane is alone in the Authority’s office. They say they won’t make it until way late and want to know if Kane has it all under control.
• First off, if you are the show runners, and our head figures of a company, and said company has a flagship show that you are in charge of that basically generates the business needed to get your product out there. Why on earth would you not be at that show? Secondly, if you can’t make it but have set up a system to take care of itself in your absence, I can understand using that system. It’s proven that their system is ‘Let Kane run it” and Kane has proven to let his emotions control the show continuously. Why on earth would you trust your program or product with an incompetent employee? For real, as business owners or show runners the Authority is the shits.
• Stephanie is yelling at someone over the phone, ‘don’t make me learn your name’ HOLY SHIT! I don’t care who you are or how rich you are, that is some mean verbiage. We are all people, just have different jobs that bring in different streams of income. Sometimes we don’t have jobs, but we are all here. I don’t know, maybe cause I work in the service industry I am vehemently against the ‘better than thou’ stuff.

And I’m Like… Corporate Kane is running the show and puts himself in a lumberjack match against Seth Rollins, right after he said he would be professional. Now the talking point for the entire show is “Is Kane professional?”

Dean Ambrose and Randy Orton Promo

• Dean says that HHH is running late so ‘the inmates are running the asylum’ like in Gotham this year. He says he is in the mood for a fight and Orton comes out. Orton has a mic and verbally blows Chicago. Chicago is the typical male and reciprocates with a “Let’s go Cubs” not an “RKO”
• Orton says that Ambrose and himself will face Harper and Braun. Ambrose says he will lead the way cause he knows how to fight Wyatts, Randy says he was hearing voices when Dean showed up.
• This is a fight about trust and who can beat the Wyatts better, and who should lead the team…

New Day Promo

• New Day comes out to “New Day Rocks” not “New DayRocks” lol Chicago
• New Day is talking about how they slayed last week, they are upset Orton and Ambrose talk about the Wyatts and not them.
• My cousin who the other day told me that “Sasha and Bayley wasn’t that good, I don’t care what the crowd or anyone else thinks. We knew how it was gonna end, it shoulda been that Asian girl.” In that same conversation he brought up how he loves The New Day after last weeks beat down cause “I didn’t see that coming.” This is a cousin who buys shirts, dvd’s, and has the Network. He is part of the audience WWE targets and it baffles me how he enjoys wrestling in a different way than I do.
• New Day brings up the fact that they decimated legends and future hall of famers, they say people can “Neva eva, eva eva, eva eva, get on their level.
• They bring up the fact that what they did last week has ever been done. Not by The Shield, The Authority, Evolution, Legacy. They laugh at Orton for being what they dub a ‘groupie’ cause he was in so many factions.
• “Out with the old and in with the New Day” They mention Derrick Rose and get boo’s before they even say anything about him.
• Kane gets on the Titantron, “Inmates are not running the asylum tonight.. I am.”

New Day vs. Randy Orton and Dean Ambrose

• Xavier is doing great as a manager. I love when they are subtle about things, like when Ambrose runs to the ropes, Xavier acts as if he is about to trip Dean up. It is nice to have that threat of a third man, and not just a cheerleader or distraction finish instigator.
• We come back from commercial and Orton has Kofi in a rebound suplex. Cole tells us the story is that Orton and Ambrose are working well together. Good thing he does that, now I don’t have to pay attention to the story the wrestlers are telling, or the match then…
• How can you convey sarcasm in text?
• Big E beats on Randy Orton and does his fun little hip gyration with musical accompaniment by Xavier Woods
• I wish we could label the ‘smart crowds’ so we can get a Bret Hart ’97 type thing. See in ’97 Bret was anti-America but pro-Canada, so every time they were in America it was boo’s, if they were in Canada cheers. What I’m saying is, if we could label certain cities (Chicago, New York, Philly) as ‘smart crowds’, they could play up some ‘away game’ like storylines with the good guys on the show. “Randy Orton and Ambrose will be in Chicago next week, and we all know Chicago likes to give them a very hard time for being themselves.” Then when people hear John Cena or Ryback getting boo’d they can be like “that’s evil Chicago”
• I want to thank New Day for starting the “clap clapclap” chant thing, whenever I’m in a store, I clap like that just in hopes that a wrestling fan will hear it and get excited!
• Xavier has certain song snippets to go along with certain moves that Kofi and Big E do, I thought that the trombone thing would get old fast, but Xavier is able to keep it fresh weekly.
• Big E hits a shoulderblock on Orton and does Ortons extended arm pose but with a hip gyration.
• Big E goes for the outside dive and hits the floor hard, the hot tag happens to Ambrose and the crowd livens up a bit. Tag matches are hard in cities with the ‘evil crowds’. I wish smart fans would know the story the WWE tries to tell and boo and cheer accordingly sometimes, like yeah do your New Day chants, but boo when E does the Orton taunt, clap when Orton is in the reverse chin lock. That’s just me being greedy with my wrestling experiences.
• When Orton does his signature moves and taunts the crowd answers his every cue. It makes the match seem so much more exciting, New Day steals the pin mid moves of doom and robs Chicago of the RKO. That get’s boo’s.

And I’m Like… that was nice. Some of the top performers in the industry putting on an entertaining wrestling match. Cole told us what the story was, I thought it was like that too except he forgot to mention that New Day won cause they are a team and know where each other is at, while Orton and Ambrose are more solo minded men and that’s why they had miscommunication. Let’s hope they can find a groove as a team before they face the Wyatts.

So I think my memory is bad. I try and think back to Summerslam and can’t think if Undertaker had long hair or short hair. In the Hell in the Cell poster its long, but for the life of me I picture it short.

There is a video package that highlights their previous matches with names like ‘The Shock’ and ‘The Controversy’ He has short hair at Summerslam, ok, that Hell in the Cell picture is really long hair though!!

I’m most intrigued about Lesnar and Undertaker cause, how can they have an entertaining and brutal Hell in a Cell match?

Nikki Bella vs. Naomi

• This is the first woman’s match I’ve watched since the Ironwoman match at NXT:Respect. They obviously won’t get 30 minutes and all that emotion. But they are developed characters.. I think. Nikki is the face that runs the place for women, she brags about being the best when she really isn’t. She is very mean. Naomi is an athlete that is married to an Uso, she has attitude but its more braggadocio than anything. Both women want to hold onto their spots. This is a match to prove they are worth competing with these other women.
• That was me hyping myself up for a match that had no hype on Raw.
• They go back to NXT:Respect and how amazing Sasha and Bayley was.. WE GET A DAMN VIDEO PACKAGE!! If you haven’t seen it, see it. I would link you to read my views on it but F That! This match needs to be felt to be truly appreciated. That is great wrestling right there. The video package got applause. Now the Boss gets to see the people she will surpass. “We Want Sasha” chants. Reminiscent of a few years ago and “Daniel Bryan” chants. That means WWE will toy with our hearts of Sasha.
• Nikki and Naomi are doing good, they have high impact moves and a quick pace. Nikki plays to the crowd and get’s cat calls and boo’s, also some cheers from the women.
• We are a few minutes into the match and Sasha is trying to get the crowd to clap for Naomi who is in a reverse chin lock. They either don’t do it or chant “you can’t wrestle.” See what I mean by ‘evil crowds’?
• Sasha should win valiantly for a few months only to be dominated by Nikki Bella, that would make me cry and hate Nikki.
• Naomi is being aggressive with her strikes and the crowd is quiet. Nikki raises her arm and the crowd responds. Naomi dives onto Nikki to some response. Then Brie grabs the mic and says “we want Sasha” a bunch… The crowd is confused, Sasha goes and gets Brie and the crowd kinda responds. Byron says it was to drive a wedge between Team B.A.D. Cole says that Team Bella knows how to play the game.
• I DON’T GET IT!!! Nikki wins with the Rack Attack though.

And I’m Like… That match was all kinds of weird. The story was Naomi and Nikki are fighting, the crowd wants Sasha. Naomi and Nikki starting winning the crowd over, Brie grabbed the mic and chanted that she wants Sasha too. Naomi doesn’t react and the crowd kinda chants with Brie and kinda doesn’t. Then it ends…. I’m gonna watch that Ironman match again this week to cleanse my palate.

WWE does this thing about Paige and it’s actually pretty horrible so yeah.

John Cena Promo

• Cena comes out to boo’s cause ‘evil Chicago’ I don’t get why he gets boo’d for existing. Cena brings up why Allstate Arena is so special to him.
• He says that Chicago is passion and they appreciate excellence, he verbally blows them and they all cheer. God, I do not like Chicago, fills the arena with boo’s, he praises them and they cheer in agreement.

U.S. Open Challenge

United States Championship Match

John Cena (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

• Ugh, kinda.
• I really want Cena to win, I used to like Dolph too! I have that pink shirt with the light blue letters . I gave my money to support him, and now it’s like… I still like the shirt and that’s about it.
• Cena has a hold on Dolph and notices the crowd chanting. JBL points out he is big match John while he does not show attention at all to Ziggler.
• CENA LEGITS STOPS THE MATCH!!! He points out someone just got engaged and She Said Yes! that is cool and gets me a bit veklempt. “She SaidYes” ok I’m getting worked up. That is such a cool moment. Having a huge life moment like that happen in front of that much support. PLUS IT’S INVOLVING WRESTLING. All I did was get married in a Daniel Bryan shirt. I’m jelly at this couple.
• I missed part of the match cause our fat cat Albus escaped out side… I have three cats, Albus, Macho Man, and Miss Elizabeth. Albus is a shit. Orange Tabby.
• The crowd is way into this match now after that proposal.
• Cena reversed Ziggler’s sleeper into an Attitude Adjustment and Ziggler rolled to the outside.
• The story is Ziggler has a chance because and I’m quoting JBL “that jet lag is getting to Cena.”
• Cena shows he is a true competitor by stopping the count out and putting Dolph in the ring to pin him. Ziggler kicks out at two and “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks” chants break out. Even though the crowd fully supported Cena STOPPING A DAMN MATCH to acknowledge the engagement.
• Ziggler goes for Sweet Chin Music, the stomps and all. He got rocked with a lariat cause Cena knows what those stomps mean.
• Ziggler reversed the Attitude Adjustment into a Fameasser, it was executed with some sloppiness but it added realism to a match that was STOPPED FOR A PROPOSAL.
• Cena traps Ziggler in the STFU and Ziggler struggled but got to the ropes, I am now waning on this match and want it to end.
• I bitch about STOPPING THE MATCH but that proposal was the best part about this contest. Ziggler raked Cena’s eyes and Superkicked Cena for two. That nearfall got me.
• Remember when crowds would “Let’s Go Ziggler” all the time? Yeah, that don’t happen anymore, they will cheer for Dolph sure, but not like they used to.
• a boo/yay spot, trading finisher reversals, Zig Zag by Ziggler and Cena kicks out. Ziggler staggers into an AA for the Cena wins lol.

And I’m Like… For real if your Ziggler why let Cena stop the match to acknowledge the goings ons in a crowd? Dude should of at least got a distraction roll-up attempt. Ziggler is soft shell taco, mild sauce. Cena can put good matches on like crazy though, one day, when he is gone, we will miss Cena.

Kane is waiting by the speakerphone. Kane is reporting to The Authority about how good tonight is going. Stephanie bitches in the background at a flight attendant for spilling coffee on her right after HHH says they are experiencing turbulence. As HHH hangs up on Kane, Cole says “The Authority still doesn’t know the main event.” Cause they can call Kane from the plane but can’t look anything up on the internet or maybe text ANYONE ELSE ON THE SHOW!! Seth Rollins has HHH’s number I’m sure.

The Dudleyz vs. The Ascension

• We know what’s gonna happen here.
• Konnor goes for yah kicks but the Chicago crowd is evil and just wants tables. They don’t want to YAH with Konnor.
• “ECW” chants from the crowd, cheers too for all Bubbas signature spots.
• Dudley Device and JBL calls it an “homage to the Road Warriors”. 3D and Dudleyz win

And I’m Like… That is a match that happened. Dudleyz are against New Day at Hell in a Cell, they did not interact and we are no longer saving the tables.

Sheamus and King Barrett vs. Neville and Cesaro

• This is a surprise, no entrances or story beforehand other than. Barrett is back and hit Neville, but hey!
• Cesaro chants cause ‘evil crowds’ love indie guys, it’s their kryptonite.
• Cole tells JBL “It’s funny you call all these matches and don’t remember anything.” hahaha Kettle meet Pot.
• Cole says King Barrett called Neville a peasant and so “ let them eat cake” I was just discussing this phrase with a customer after reading Tidbits . I wanted to know how that was a bitchy thing to say. If I had no bread and my queen wanted to let me eat cake, how is that bad? After some discussion we came to the conclusion that Cake is a more expensive bread so she was being coy and heartless when she said it.
• This is the most European match by the way. Like WWE ’12 United Kingdom .
• These guys are hard hitting and having a fun time out there, Cesaro is handling both Sheamus and Barrett very well. This would be a good tag team rivalry if it was about something.
• Barrett hit Bullhammer on Neville and Sheamus got the pin.

And I’m Like… Wanting more, I feel like these four could really tear the house down with some emotional investment and time. It was nice to learn something during the match though. Let them eat cake is like what the storyline writers say to us fans. Hey Raw we are peasants and have no emotion in our Monday wrestling show.. “Then be invested in wrestlers you used to like, but now for no apparent reason.”

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

• Reigns starts talking, he says “Good to be in Chicago, babbbbaaaaayy” Reigns talks about how Wyatt cost him the Money in the Bank briefcase. He get’s ‘What’d’ cause Chicago.
• He asks if Chicago can not hear him or something, he says when you have beef you settle it in the ring. The crowd is all What’s Beef?
• I would rather have a video package than Roman talk. I fast forwarded it til the Wyatts came out.
• I fast forwarded that too cause what the hell?!?! This is about ONE THING that happened in June… Reigns holds onto grudges forever, Wyatt cost Dean Ambrose so many opportunities, and he only feuds with the Wyatts still cause Roman Noodles is.
• The match finally starts and Braun shows he is way stronger than Roman.
• JBL says fighting Braun Strowman is like fighting Jeep Swenson .. Is that a compliment or an insult?
• For about 5 minutes Braun dominates the match. Roman gets a few moves in and it does nothing to the crowd.
• Once Roman does the count along punch thing the crowd is right there to “1,2,3,4” Wrestling crowds love counting, we really do.
• I’ve noticed that Braun does not acknowledge the crowd at all, that might be his character work or his inexperience. It doesn’t help the cause in getting a crowd engaged in your act. It is different though.
• Roman is able to FINALLY knock Braun Strowman off his feet and Reigns wins by count out.

And I’m Like… That was kinda cool, Reigns looked resilient, Braun got knocked off his feet but not in a way that makes him look weak at all. The match wasn’t much fun but it felt very old school. I probably would praise it in a different setting. There wasn’t much to not like, it just wasn’t fun. The video package will make this seem way better. and HOLY SHIT “Husky Harris” chants cause CHICAGO.

Kane talks to The Authority again, they are headed this way but there is bad reception. HHH just asked what the main event was again, Kane told him but you know BAD RECEPTION. This is just dumb. I don’t get this as a storyline. It’s Kane is incompetent as Corporate Kane and can beat people up as Demon Kane, except we know that Corporate Kane uses Demon Kane powers to make it seem like Corporate circumstances are beyond his control and Kane is just being a good employee. The Authority are dumb bosses and boneheaded at the moment. So, it works?

Rusev vs. Ryback

• We start with a video recap of Summer Rae proposing to Rusev and Rusev turning her down for the moment. Then Cole tells us Rusev and Lana got engaged even though they ‘can’t stand each other.’ Cena did not acknowledge either or STOP A MATCH! to do so.
• Summer Rae is still out here with Rusev and we are getting a Rusev is old school Mormon . The crowd is confused on what is going on.
• Summer is probably pissed in real life cause where does she go from here? Ziggler shed this storyline, Rusev and Lana are really together. Summer kinda just sits on the bench and watches the Divas Revolutionize, her storyline evaporate, and her enemy and boyfriend legit getting married.
• Let’s hope there isn’t some girl upset at home after seeing the John Cena endorsed engagement.
• Ryback and Rusev have a match that Ryback wins.

And I’m Like.. This is weird. The crowd is quiet for this and the story is muddled. Even deeper though, how these feuds are playing out. The Dudleyz beat The Ascension and at the end JBL says “I hope the New Day are taking notes.” Ryback beats Rusev and Cole goes “Hope your watching Kevin Owens.” Like we see a character and right before they go off screen we are reminded who they fight in two weeks. Weird. So Summer Rae grabs the mic and says she could of done this privately but she wants the whole world.. AND everyone here to see she got engaged. Summer is pissed that she found out Rusev was engaged to Lana for one month off of TMZ. She said Rusev isn’t strong but he is a whipped little boy. Summer is making Rusev seem like a bad guy but this story is the bad guy. Good Riddance. Can we forget this whole thing? Forget Ziggler doing Lana to spite Rusev. Summer becoming friends then more than friends with Rusev, Summer doing Ziggler cause um… just cause. Now a surprise engagement… ugh.. Dog Ziggler though, let’s remeber Dog Ziggler.

Kalisto vs. Kevin Owens

• Bad guy Kevin Owens gets cheered because….. Chicagoan Kryptonite.
• Kalisto is crazy fast and hits Owens with kicks like he was Thumper
• A smattering of “Kevin Owens/Kevin Owens Sucks”
• Instead of enjoying the match the crowd tries to start smart chants like this was NXT.
• Owens either doesn’t catch Kalisto or Kalisto either messed up but Kalisto did a cool springboard moved to the outside and just landed on his head…
• Kalisto is hitting his signature spots but the crowd just goes ‘OH!!!’ and not like they are buying it though.
• Pop-Up Powerbomb for the win.

And I’m Like… “That’s what Ryback has to contend with at Hell in a Cell” lol cause they are against each other in two weeks. That match was a thing that was supposed to be wow, amazing, but Kalisto is the apple that tried to fall from the tree but botched it. Sin Cara.

Charlotte and Becky Lynch vs. Brie Bella and Alicia Fox

• Bad news, Paige is on commentary. I am going to mute this, is that alright?
• My wife said thank you when I hit mute! hahahaha
• Sometimes the option for just crowd noise and no commentary would be nice…
• Charlotte tries to work over Brie’s arm but Brie gets out of it, Bella goes after Becky Lynch and Charlotte catches Brie in the moves of doom.
• Charlotte gets distracted by Nikki and Brie gets some moves in.
• Natayla goes to stop Nikki and Paige confronts Nattie and pushes her into the apron which KTFO of Nattie.
• Charlotte is distracted by that and Brie gets a pin on Diva’s champion Charlotte.
• Where was Becky Lynch? She was still knocked out from Brie Bella..

And I’m Like… That was too much distractions… too many distractions… too many distractions. No one really benefitted. I did cause of mute.

Kane talks to HHH and Stephanie again and they finally hear that Kane is gonna face Seth Rollins. They say that Kane can’t wrestle Seth under any circumstances. Anyone but Kane. Kane smiles as a DIAL TONE happens in the background, because cell phones. The crowd chants CM PUNK as we fade away. Let it go Chicago, let it go.

Seth Rollins shows up on the show for the first time in the night. Three hours in too. Seth is telling Big Show he doesn’t feel like anyone has his back except Big Show. Show laughs..

Corporate Kane tells Seth that HE will not be the opponent for Rollins tonight, but he found a replacement. THIS STORYLINE YOU GUYS!! AHHH!!!

Lumberjacks comeout and they are not in flannels? WHAT THE HELL

Lumberjack Match

Seth Rollins vs. Demon Kane

• Jack Swagger sighting… New Day playing Air Guitar to Seth’s music.
• See Corporate said “I” can’t wrestle. So The Authority is dumb.
• This is stupid, it’s not a split personality storyline. It’s Kane is a smart guy who knows he has two gimmicks.
• He then acts like he doesn’t know, everyone knows. The Authority is not everyone I guess.
• The crowd is silent throughout the contest
• It is a typical Lumberjack match, the bad guys don’t touch Kane cause they are scared, everyone doesn’t like Seth so he gets thrown back in.
• New Day attacks Demon Kane and the lumberjacks all brawl cause Lumberjack match
• We recreate Undertaker being beaten up by all the bad guys . Except we are the instant gratification generation, so Kane beats up all the bad guys and tombstones Seth Rollins for the win.

And I’m Like… Kane was more professional and safe towards Seth Rollins than the Authority has been all year. This was a dumb episode arc but overall an enjoyable episode. I was gonna watch the Democratic debate but forgot to DVR it so onto bed.

You all have a good one.

Please Share or tweet or pin. That is very nice of you.

-Jake