Rumor has it Raw is supposed to have something big go down tonight. So let’s quit with the fiddlesticks and get Raw.
Monday Night Raw Opening
- The show kicks off with a video package of last night.
- That match was fun and told a great story. Both members of the Shield could not handle Lesnar separately. They would double team him so they have a chance to legit fight each other to advance.
- They let the scene where Ambrose struck Roman and Lesnar with a chair sit a bit longer than the other parts of the match. You can see it’s because of Dean’s chair antics Lesnar was taken out of the equation.
Vincent J. McMahon Award Ceremony
- Cole welcomes us to Detroit’s Joe Louis Arena for tonight’s Raw.
- The camera starts with a shot of the VincentВ J. trophy.
- The show cuts to a Facebook video of Ambrose getting jumped by Brock Lesnar.
- Brock power slammed Ambrose through the limousine windshield.
- I wonder what brought this award about. I remember on Tuesday Night Titans when Vince J. was inducted into the Madison Square Garden Hall of Fame. Vince K. was very emotional but steadfast in his delivery and it was apparent he cared a lot about his father and his fathers legacy.
- Vince says we will never forget tonight. Vince tells us for over 100 years the McMahons have promoted wrestling.
- He is giving us a history and the crowd is “What??”ing him cause they suck.
- Vince puts over how humble and great his dad was. He finally names the awards recipient… Stephanie McMahon.
Stephanie McMahon comes out
- She wins this award because “nobody do her like she do her”
- Vince tells her she was born into this business and exemplifies his father. SHOWERED IN BOO’s!! Steph says everyone is supportive but there are so many boo’s. I feel like Vickie Guerrero says EXCUSE ME!
FUCKING SHANE MCMAHON!!!!!
- HERE COMES THE MONEY!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!
- Shane comes out to the dopest song because here comes the money. Shane does his quick steps to such a reaction… I am legit floored!!! Shane man!! Shane!!!
- The crowd is HYPE!!!! Yes! chants and bows and everything.
- Shane was a man that put his body on the line for WWE, he made storylines, he took MASSIVE bumps, he added so much depth to WrestleMania X7. Shane left WWE to carve his own niche. He is back and I am with the crowd chanting “Holy Shit” and “This Is Awesome”
- You can see Vince and Steph do fake upset looks but they legit look so happy to see this reaction.
- Vince goes for a hug and Shane puts his hand up to stop him. Shane is grey haired and looks almost older than Vince but he is about to bring something to this segment. He is holding back his true emotions. I would be balling if I were him. That is one of the greatest reactions.
- Shane says that this award should be bestowed on a worthy enough recipient. He said Steph wasn’t that person.
- Shane told Vince he is taking his advice and manning up, talking face to face.
- Steph puts Shane in his place a bit saying her and HHH have been running a billion dollar business. Shane looks at Vince and asks if Steph knows. The crowd OOOH’S
- Shane says Steph and HHH ran the company into ground. He is looking at stock and ratings and injuries. HE IS BEING HONEST!!! WOW!
- Steph says Shane is a quitter to more “Ohh’s” from the crowd. We have everyone invested into this segment. This is so great. They are really rocking and rolling this morning.
- Shane says Vince messed up “Yuge” and cut a deal with Shane after he saved Vince from a problem. Shane says he never lost his place in line.
- Daniel Bryan type Yes! chants at this segment from the crowd. Steph is playing like she has all the cards and Vince is trying to speak with Shane privately. Steph is making Vince talk about it and Vince is trying to sweep it under the rug.
- Shane lets Stephanie leave and drops the line “best for business” Steph’s last words was “I will never forgive you for this”
Vince and Shane talk
- Shane says this is not about money. He sometimes regretsВ lettingВ all that money go, but he can look himself in the mirror knowing he is his own man.
- Shane wants to preserve the company so the next few generations of McMahons can run the business.В PLEASE!!! The McMahons may be hated but they love wrestling so much. They will take care of this business.
- В Shane says he wants to run Monday Night Raw. Are we talking brand split again?
- Vince says Shane needs to wrestle one match against Vince’s choice of opponent. Shane wins he is in charge of Raw, Shane loses and he gives Vince the key to the lockbox that has all their documents in it.
- Shane repeats “one match, one night” The crowd chants “you still got it” Vince with a huge smile. Shane says “not my first deal with the Devil.” they shook hands.
- Shane says he remembers being beat by Vince, all that did was make him stronger.
- Vince is naming a place and an opponent.
- Vince picks Undertaker to face Shane at WrestleMania. The crowd wants to be surprised and a Holy Shit starts to come over to arena, but there is a slight hush.
- Vince puts Shane in a Hell in a Cell….. with Undertaker…
And I’m Like…. WHAT WHAT WHAT!?!?!? I have so many questions. Is Undertaker kayfabe cool with this? Why is he Vince’s lackey… There needs to be more story. The initial shock factor was cool but now it’s like WHAT??!?! Shane needs to win though. I’m going in hoping for an Undertaker loss… That is crazy… Way to cause intrigue WWE.
Lucha Dragons and Neville vs. New Day
- ??? I thought last night New Day became babyfaces by dancing with Edge and Christian.
- Now they are wrestling the good guys.
- New Day cut a promo on League of Nations. So that means they are good and bad. New Day debuts new cereal… Booty-O’s.
- Byron wonders if the Booty-O’s are high in sugar.
- Big E does some damage to Neville and does his hip gyration. Cole calls it Booty Time. JBL says E ate his Booty-O’s
- Lucha Dragons have yet to get into the ring because Neville is GETTING HIS ASS KICKED!
- This match has gone two commercial breaks. Neville has not tagged yet. Dude is a whipping post.
- I don’t know how describe the New Day characters. They are positive people, that enjoy their team and teamwork, that also talk like they are in an anime, that also are obsessed with booty and sexual dancing.?
- Sin Cara got a hot tag but it didn’t have that explosion that you would expect. The normal hot tag style match doesn’t really mesh with most tag matches anymore.
- Sin Cara took care of most of New Day and never once got injured.
- Big E hit Sin Cara, Kalisto attacks Big E,В Xavier hits Kalisto., Neville starts fighting with Xavier. Big E misses В a dive to the outside. Neville hits a 450 from the apron to the floor on Big E. Kalisto jumps off Neville’s back and does a 450 on Kofi. As Sin Cara almost gets his finish on Xavier, Woods tugs at his mask.
- Sin Cara tries to go at Xavier but Kofi shows up and hits the Trouble in Paradise
And I’m Like… That match was long but went by quickly. New Day are still doing their New Day thing without evolving much. Neville and Kalisto on a team is guaranteed highlight reels. It kinda of reminded me of that sweet spot of the Reality Era where we were getting 20 minute matches on the regular and they all were entertaining.
Roman does a promo that sounds like he is reading a script. The past is the past, and Dean is hurt.
Brock Lesnar and Paul HeymanВ Promo
- Heyman points at the Mania sign and both he and Brock look disgruntled.
- Heyman says Brock Lesnar is the Main Event of the evening.
- Paul says Brock lost because Dean brought a chair into a wrestling match. Ambrose got down and dirty in a street fight.
- Paul Heyman says Dean Ambrose is like a little kid that everyone thinks is cool, riding on their dirtbike. Then a mac truck comes by and hits Dean. Heyman threw the mic down on the ground. Paul says Lesnar needs a new WrestleMania opponent.
- Heyman said go visit a non breathing Dean Ambrose at the hospital.
- We then hear tons of car horns and stuff… Obviously Ambrose is back he just takes the element of surprise away first….
- It takes a awhile for this Code 3 Ambulance to come in. What is cool is Dean is still in his neck brace.
- That means he stole an ambulance, even though he can barely walk. He drove it all the way to the arena with the siren on, even though he could barely control the ambulance. He then crawled to the feet of Lesnar and rolled over….. ?
- Lesnar looked at Dean on the floor and stepped on Ambrose’s face. Brock walked away.
- Dean got a mic and told Brock to kiss his ass. He told Lesnar he is indestructible. Ambrose calls out Lesnar at Mania in a Street Fight.
- The Beast walks down to Ambrose and F-5’s the poor son of a bitch.
- Lesnar being the bad guy, Ambrose being the gutsy fighter, the crowd being confused chanting “one more time”… NO! The bad guy isn’t supposed to be goaded into doling out more punishment.
And I’m Like… That set up the Mania match. It probably looked better on paper, but that execution was sub-par. I think the ambulance taking a minute or so, and Ambrose selling like his whole body was destroyed when we have seen him in more pain and go through more punishment in matches than on the car.
The Uso’s vs. The Ascension
- Bubba told the Uso’s not to take it personal because they needed to remind people they are the most decorated tag team in the history of WWE.
- As The Dudleyz made fun of the Uso’s dad Rikishi,В The Ascension attacked the Uso’s
- IJ am wondering if Undertaker helped the Uso’s at all.. He was in BSK with Rikishi and Yoko,В so IВ assume most Samoans are cool with Taker.
- Viktor jumps off the top rope and gets caught with a double superkick.
- After an Uso splash, and no crowdВ response.. The Uso’sВ won.
And I’m Like… I know my pee break match at Mania.
Chris Jericho Promo
- Jericho talks about for years he heard about AJ Styles.
- Jericho said he did not like AJ after meeting him in the Royal Rumble,
- Jericho said he had 3 matches against AJ, he says Styles deserves the nickname Phenomenal.
- Jericho asks AJ to come out.
AJ Styles comes out
- The crowd cheers for those organs. They want some.
- “AJ Styles” from the crowd.. then some “Y2J” chants sprinkled in.. Dueling chants that continued from last night.
- Jericho tells AJ he has what it takes and belongs in WWE.
Social Outcasts come out
- This is not another teen movie but Social Outcasts are slow clapping.
- Each member of the Outcasts have such funny talking points. Heath is the loud southern guy, Axel is the loud Northern guy, Bo Dallas is just the happy optimist, and Adam Rose is the weird one.
- Jericho asks the crowd if they want to see AJ and himself as a team.
- Jericho makes a team and then sets up the match. Do those jackets give him GM power?
AJ Styles and Christ Jericho vs. Heath Slater and Curtis Axel
- I was gonna call Curtis, Michael McGillycutty because Nexus.
- AJ had the match well in hand until the Outcasts got involved and the 4-on-1 of the match had AJ lose his focus and get beat on.
- Heath was doing a good job of keepingВ AJ separated from his corner.
- AJ was able to hit a pele, and after tagging Jericho in Jericho did some hot tagging.
- Y2J went for a Walls of Jericho. Styles does a springboard forearm onto Heath and then Styles jumps over the top rope on the other two Outcasts. Axel taps.
And I’m Like… Wait.. That is the match? What happened to Miz? Now Styles and Jericho are respect friends? They are called y2Aj? What is Kevin Owens up to, can’t he feud with Styles? I feel like all the storylines should start tonight, so as I watch matches I try and picture how this is setting WrestleMania up.
HHH reminds Steph that Shane has always been a failure. HHH sends Stephanie to go talk to Roman Reigns.
Steph chases Roman down to let him know he has a match tonight. Stephanie says it is against Sheamus. Like it was a punishment. ROMAN BEAT THE WHOLE SQUAD LAST YEAR!!! Stupid!
R-Truth is listening to some music and Goldust shows up with a cake. Both guys are trying to improvise? I don’t know it is not good… I don’t get why they are doing these segments. That ends with R-Truth throwing cake on Goldust…. Yeah.
The Wyatts vs. Kane, Big Show and Ryback
- Why is this still happening? Braun isn’t in the ring anymore, Bray is.. Maybe that’s why they are having the math, Bray feels if he was in the ring things would be different.
- Ryback gets crazy loud Goldberg chants.
- This match is happening and the momentum changes. There is real no rhyme or reason to it. Titans don’t have to prove anything, Wyatt’s already lost… I don’t get why these dudes are still going at it.
- We come back from commercial break with Ryback getting hit with a michinoku driver for two.
- Big Show gets hot tagged and there is actually cheering for him. Show can really take out anyone. He is someone that wrestling will truly miss.
- Strowman pulled the ropes down as Show was running and Show went over the top rope.
- Harper and Show are fighting it out. Luke ends up putting a headlock on show who has to fight out like a typical heavyweight.
- It’s really hard to stay awake during this match…. Sorry to those involved.
- Ryback left the match and deserted his team. Wyatt’s win.
And I’m Like… I don’t get it… Why have Ryback leave? Why do most of the things they do with the Wyatts. When I wanna sleep tonight I AM WATCHINNG THIS MATCH!!
This Raw is getting me tired. Ryback is getting interviewed. Ryback says he won the match last night, he has nothing left to prove. I agree completely RYBACK!
Sasha Banks vs. Naomi
- When Sasha comes out my energy level picks up.
- This feud is still going on… I feel like the Diva’s division is super small… Sasha has a dope shirt on.
- These two start with some chain wrestling but Naomi be stupid and think she can out wrestle Sasha.
- Naomi laid a kick in pretty hard, the crowd would respond more but they are so dead from all of this Raw.
- Naomi has bandana pants, she isn’t wearing them in this match.
- Tamina pulls Sasha to the ground on the outside and Naomi does a Sasha taunt.
- We come back from commercial and bother girls are on the ground.
- Sasha kicks Naomi pretty hard. Sasha goes for a double knee but falls awkwardly onto Naomi.
- This match is kinda vicious.
- Tamina is beating up Sasha and distracting her.
- Becky comes down and beats up Tamina in time for Sasha to hit the BankStatement.
Charlotte Comes out
- She gets the biggest reaction by far. Charlotte is wearing new gear. Cole points out that it is making fun of the Bella’s.
- Charlotte doesn’t know how to deliver lines. She comes off like a brat but doesn’t know how be a person that delivers words.
- I try and imagine her in a real life setting. Someone who talks like that would be SO WEIRD.
- Sasha and Becky don’t have much of a reaction and if I were them I wouldn’t know what type of face to make either.
And I’m Like… This is just like episodes after Takeover for NXT. You know the end result will be good but getting there takes some work. You gotta start somewhere, sometimes I don’t like to see how a moment is made. The irony is, if your not with the bad storylines, the good storylines aren’t that good.
Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns
- Where is the drama in this match? We know Roman will win..
- There is nothing Roman hasn’t seen before.
- Shane should save this show. There is a sign that says “Raw is stale Coleslaw” and thatВ is true.
- Roman is selling the match last night more than when he was in the match last night.
- You know by this time I am usually another 1,000 words deep. I don’t know if it is the Raw or if I am just lethargic.
- The Shane announcement made the show, but the rest of the show just kind of limped along.
- Reigns hits a spear on the outside. The ref is counting and at 7 neither guy is up.
- Just as Roman was about to win by countout, the referee stopped counting. THEN HHH’s music played.
- HHH is in a leather coat and t-shirt because he is the coolest.
- Roman and HHH start fighting right away. HHH is getting cheered too.
- God Mania and the episode of Raw after will be so weird if good guy Reigns is champion.
- They brawl outside the ring for a WHILE!! Then Roman starts to bleed so all the refs run out. Reigns has a broken nose and HHH gets blood over his taped fists.
- This helps things.
And I’m Like… The first act has blood. Cole said HHH assassinated Roman Reigns… I think that is a bit drastic. Tons of doctors are out to help Reigns and HHH won’t let the doctors work. HHH goes for a pedigree on the steps. “Yes!” chants from the crowd because the top babyface just got bloodied and pedigreed into the steps. “One More Time” from the crowd. HHH does the jack off hand superman punch taunt and then the suck it. Then HHH raises his belt in the air to get cheers.
I am surprised at how lackluster this Raw was. Raw is like today’s hip-hop scene and Shane-O is like Kendrick Lamar. Please no more trap music Raw…
You all share and like and stuff to spread the word, I greatly appreciate it.
Have a good one either way
-JAke
