We are now standing on the precipice of Lucha Underground’s season finale, dubbed “Ultima Lucha.” Welcome to Cheap-Heat, my name is Mark Adam Haggerty, and this is “Viva La Lucha Libre.”
As the weeks progress, we begin to see a greater emphasis placed on the “Aztec Medallions” that Dario Cueto is awarding certain individuals. The show opens on a shot of the cosmos—I use the word “cosmos” instead of “sky” because it’s a really nifty purplish blue rendition of the night sky with stars swirling in each and every direction. Below, we find the Lucha Underground Temple—wherein Chavo Guerrero finds himself at the mercy of Blue Demon. ‘Demon attacked Texano Jr. last week, claiming that “he is Mexico,” and challenged the former Mega Heavyweight Champion to a match at Ultima Lucha. We head into Dario’s office. An interesting side note about this office: according to producer Eric Van Wagenen, Cueto’s office was already a fixture in the building before they came in. When the location scouts first saw the warehouse facility that would one day become the “Lucha Temple,” they planned to gut the office, but structural concerns kept them from completing the task. It was decided that the office would remain part of the show, and according to Van Wagenen, “very little was changed—that’s basically the way the office looked when [they] found it.” Dario is speaking with Big Ryck, who he hopes to see “eye to eye” with. That’s a pun, in case you didn’t catch it—Big Ryck wears an eyepatch. Cueto says that he had big plans for Ryck, and wants him back in the spotlight. He holds a satin pouch before Ryck, and says that he will reveal the power of his Aztec Medallions tonight. “What’s more important to you,” Cueto asks, swinging the pouch suggestively, “Money or Power?” Ryck asks why he should choose when he can have them both. Cueto hands Ryck the medallion and a stack of hundred dollar bills. The one-eyed former ECW champion says: “We finally see eye-to-eye.”
Tonight’s musical guest is Sergio Arau, the first bandstand leader to make a return to the ‘Temple since the show’s premiere. Vampiro is rocking harder than anyone else inside the building, so much so that Matt Striker has to reel him in to introduce the product. Tonight’s opening match features one of the biggest stars on the LU Roster, Johnny Mundo—in one on one competition against Texano Jr. Both of these athletes will be featured at Ultima Lucha; Johnny is looking to square off against Alberto El Patron, while Texano will be tested by the aforementioned Blue Demon. This is a fun clash of styles between “the pretty boy working on his abs,” as Vampiro refers to Johnny, and a former AAA world heavyweight champion. These matches between heavyweights are far more akin to the “Sports Entertainment” style that most mainstream fans will recognize. Mundo hits Texano with a slew of educated feet, while Texano comes back with an onslaught of knife edge chops. Johnny appeared on “The Steve Austin Show: Unleashed” last week, and the “Texas Rattlesnake” said that Johnny Mundo is looking better than ever before. Mundo—the former Morrison—says that he always wanted creative control over his character, and is finally getting it as part of the Lucha Underground roster. Halfway through the competition, the Crew hits the ring and puts the boots to Texano. Alberto El Patron makes his way down to ringside to clear the ring and even the odds. He and his former adversary stand side by side, as Texano whips the Crew with his signature bull rope.
Dario Cueto is back in his office, this time alongside Hernandez. He hands Super Mex a Miller Lite, while he drinks a brown cocktail of sorts. He tells Hernandez that the fans inside the Lucha Underground Temple are not fond of him, and he’s ready to give them their comeuppance. Dario says that Hernandez and Drago will go head-to-head in a “Believer’s Backlash” match—a lumberjack-style bout wherein the “Believers” will be cast as lumberjacks, and outfitted with leather straps. Hernandez takes a sip of his beer, and cheers Cueto, eager for the opportunity.
“The following Lucha is scheduled for one fall,” Melissa Santos is inside the ring, and introduces Willie Mack. She says that Willie is from “South Central Los Angeles,” and introduces his opponent as being from the “559.” Both are analog descriptions of Los Angeles and Southern California. This is the second match in as many weeks between Brian Cage and Willie Mack. Last week, “The Mack,” as he is referred, walked away with an impressive victory over the former Lucha Underground number one contender. This week they’ll take their battle one step further. The bell rings and Cage hits the Mack with an arm toss into a backbreaker. The Machine is off to a definitive start against Willie; Cage hits Mack at full speed with unprecedented velocity, but Mack reverses him into a sunset flip for a quick and decisive victory. After the bell, Cage proceeded to punish Willie Mack for daring to win a match. Mack got a second wind and started bringing the fight back to Cage. They fought up the stairwell and out of the ‘Temple, amidst a sea of chants: “Let them fight.” Dario Cueto interrupts the brawl and says, “If you two really want to fight so bad, then I’m going to get every and anything that I can find in my sacred ‘Temple lying around. And I’m going to put it all around the ring and I’m going to let you use it to rip each other apart!” Dario says that we are starting Ultima Lucha NEXT WEEK! “Ultima Lucha is so big that it requires two weeks!” Next week is the preamble to Ultima Lucha and will feature a “Falls Count Anywhere” battle between the “Machine” and the Mack.
Dario says that he is finally ready to tell the fans what the Aztec Medallions represent; a horn blares and Dario’s “bull fighting” theme pops the ‘Believers inside the ‘Temple. “For weeks, Luchadors have been competing for this,” Dario begins, “Together, these Aztec Medallions make up what I like to call—the ’gift of the gods.’” Dario reveals a championship title belt with seven slots—he says that the holder of the special strap will be afforded a championship opportunity whenever he wants. “But there’s a twist,” Dario says, “I like to promote my championship matches. So there will be no cashing in.” When the title holder wants his championship match, he must tell Dario one week in advance. “But if you wait too long for your championship match, you’ll have to defend the title!” Dario says that there will be a 7-way match at Ultima Lucha, wherein the winner will be gifted the inaugural Aztec belt. He invites the wrestlers who possess medallions to join him in the ring. This is includes Jack Evans, Argenis, Aerostar, King Cuerno, Bengala, Sexy Star, and of course—Big Ryck. “Now, you must put your medallion into the belt to ensure your spot in the ‘Gift of the Gods’ match.” Each of the participants drop their circular medallions into the designated spots on the belt. Cueto says that the only problem is the absence of Fenix: “He held the seventh medallion, but Mil Muertes destroyed him. So I have no choice but to put his medallion back up for grabs tonight. So we’re going to have a Battle Royale! But since this is Lucha Underground, we will improve on the standard battle royal. When there are two luchadors left, the only way to win is by pinfall or submission!” Before the ‘Royale can begin, Fenix arrives. “Fenix so good to see you,” Cueto starts, “But you’re a little late. But since I’m feeling generous, ghow about you ever the battle royale?”
We head into commercial and once we return, it’s time for the Battle Royale to determine the final participant in the “Gift of the Gods Match.” Fenix is surrounded by members of the roster including Ricky Mandel, Daivari, Killshot, Famous B, Super Fly, Marty the Moth, and more. This is a fun multi-man match with an array of high spots and specialty moments; Famous B makes a name for himself in the early going with a DX-style crotch chop and an elimination on Ricky Mandel. Killshot hits Famous B with his patented variation of the Diamond Cutter, only to be thrown from the match by Delavar Daivari. Marty the Moth and Daivari work together to eliminate Famous B, and then focus on the former medallion-holder, Fenix. Daivari is soon thrust to the outside and this match comes down to a one-on-one between Fenix and Marty the Moth. Fenix dazzles the ‘Faithful’ inside the Temple; Marty really is the perfect foil to any number of Luchadors on the LU roster. He’s built like Damian Sandow, and moves like Santino Marella. Fenix gets a quick cover, and upsets the Moth by earning his Aztec Medallion with a 1-2-3.
This week’s episode of Lucha Underground closes with a breakdown of the bouts we’re fixing to see at Ultima Lucha on August 5th. Before the cameras fade out on the inside of the ‘Temple, Melissa Santos introduces the LU Champion, Prince Puma. Puma is without Konnan—as the former K-Dawg was locked away inside a casket last week on television. Puma is wearing a yellow hoodie, and asks for the microphone for the first time in almost a year. Before he might speak a word, Mil Muertes appears wearing—a three piece suit. Seriously, it is the sexiest suit you’ve ever seen—complete with the demonic ‘Muertes mask. Muertes is flanked by Catrina per usual, and makes his way toward Puma. The ‘Prince’ drops the microphone and lays the title on the floor, as a proverbial line that Muertes must cross. Muertes and Catrina continue their slow descent down the stairs, and stop midway; just then, the Disciples of Death enter the ring and team up on the Lucha Underground Champion. Puma is able to fight them off, with a GTS Kick to the face of the finale combatant. The ‘Believers’ chant “Lucha, Lucha, Lucha,” as Puma planchas onto the fallen Disciples on the outside. Muertes has seen enough and hits the ring to fight Prince Puma. Puma hits the big splash and walks away with his head held high, but who’s to say what will happen in two weeks at Ultima Lucha?
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