Total Nonstop Analysis: TNA Lockdown 3/20/15

Total Nonstop Analysis: TNA Lockdown 3/20/15

Total Nonstop Analysis
TNA Lockdown 3/20/15

Written by Mark Adam Haggerty

It’s a beautiful Saturday morning here in Long Beach, and the sun is just now starting to peak through the hazy daze of Southern California. My name is Mark Adam Haggerty and I’m in a fantastic mood this weekend because I’m just a few hours away from launching the very first episode of my new podcast, “The B+ Players,” right here at www.Cheap-Heat.com. I’m back with you once again to offer the most concise coverage of TNA Impact you’re bound to find anywhere on the world wide web. This week’s show wasn’t as intense as its blood-spattered predecessor, but still kept me on the edge of my seat from the first segment through the main event.

The show opens with a video package describing Bobby Lashley’s title defense against Kurt Angle as “the match you’ve all been waiting for.” The action kicks off in the Wembley Arena for the second time in as many weeks with tag team competition. The Wolves make their way to ringside as they prepare to defend their tag team titles in a triple threat Ultimate X match with DJ Z and Jesse Goddard of the Bro Mans as well as Manik and Sanada of the Revolution. The Wolves are in control from the moment the bell sounds, and almost toss the Bro Mans to the side so that they may concentrate on the Revolution. The Great Sanada is on the receiving end of an enormity of offensive attacks via Richards and Edwards, as is Jesse Goddard who hopelessly tries to reenter the equation. The Wolves howl into the air and run off in an attempt to hit their patented double suicide dive, when Angelina Love climbs onto the apron and causes them to stop dead in their tracks. DJ Zema Ion tried to take advantage of the distraction but was launched over the top rope onto his own teammates by the Wolves. The Wolves maintained their edge until a drop kick courtesy of Jesse Goddard grounded Eddie Edwards, and gave both opposing teams the opening for success. Manik and Goddard worked in tandem to take down the tag team champions, until all four heels enjoyed a distinct advantage over Davey Richards. Goddard held Richards with his arms behind his back as Manik climbed the aerial ropes and worked his way to the title belts hanging above the ring. Goddard finally realized the error of his ways and unleashed another high-angle drop kick to Manik who was hanging above. DJ Z joins the action and the Bro Mans try to piggy back off one another to avoid climbing the ropes. DJ Z climbs onto Jesse’s shoulders and reaches for the belts, but is soon met by Manik who is sitting on the shoulders of the Great Sanada. The game of chicken commences until the Wolves enter the fray and knock everybody down and out of the ring. The Wolves are back in control again as the audience begins to chant “this is awesome.” DJ Z is still trying to climb the ropes but is sent headfirst into the steel structure surrounding the ring. Everybody is down once again, allowing Jesse Goddard and Sanada the opportunity to battle it out above the six-sided ring. They hammer one another into the steel structure in the corner until Sanada is able to blind Goddard with the trademark Muta mist. Sanada is inches away from reaching the belts, but is thwarted by Eddie Edwards who performs a top-rope hurricanrana, sending Sanada flying into the center of the ring. Davey Richards then capitalized with a double foot stomp to seal the deal. The Wolves climbed the cable from opposite ends and met in the middle where they retained their world tag team titles.

Austin Aries enters the arena with a microphone, but without his prestigious “Feast or Fired” briefcase. “For the last two weeks I’ve been out of commission because our good friends, the BDC, put me through a table.” Austin tells the audienceone thing missing from TNA television has been the “world’s greatest fans chanting for the world’s greatest man that ever lived.” He immediately gets down to brass tax: “I’m going to make this real short and simple; I want my property back and I’m not leaving this ring until I get it. So Low-Ki, Samoa Joe—you put me through a table? You stole my briefcase? I’m not going to come and jump you from behind, I’m going to stand in this ring like a man and tell you to come out here and bring me my briefcase back!” Ask and you shall receive, at least according to Taz. The BDC’s music plays and Samoa Joe leads the deadly duo comprising both he and the X-Division Champion to the ring. Low-Ki carries the Halliburton briefcase and smiles at the former X-Division title holder who dares address the Beat Down Clan. “Austin,” Ki began with a wide smile, “Let me get this straight: you believe that WE have something that belongs to you.” Low-Ki held the briefcase up in the air, and Austin responded by saying it’s not a belief, “it’s a fact, jack.” Low-Ki falls back on the ol’ “possession is nine tenths of the law,” excuse. “As long as the BDC has this, Austin Aries can’t play his games of ‘will I, or won’t I go after the world title.’” Austin had enough of the games being played and gave the Beat Down Clan two very good reasons why they should return his property. “One—you’re not Austin Aries. You’re not the man that makes history, you’re not the man that cashes in opportunities for world championships.” The crowd erupted. “Number two—you’re not Austin Aries. Which means that briefcase legally has no value to you, because you can’t do a damn thing with it. But I’ll tell you what, I’ve got a way that we can remedy this. You see, I just came out for my briefcase—that I’ve earned. But you stole something else from me Low-Ki; you stole my X-Division championship. You and the BDC. So I’ve got a proposition for you, you’re a gambling man? I say right here, right now: winner takes all. My briefcase for the world championship—my X Division Championship you STOLE? Put your money where your mouth is, winner takes all. Right here, right now.” The fans inside Wembley went wild as they waited for Low-Ki’s reply. “Fair enough, Austin. But you simply don’t deserve a shot at my X-Division title.” Before the words could come out of Ki’s mouth, Austin Aries was blindsided by the brutal Samoan Submission Machine. “But if you really want it that bad,” Low-Ki continued, “You’re just gonna have to go through Joe.”

Away to commercial and once we return, the action is underway with Senior Official Earl Hebner calling the match. Joe is dominant from the early going as his peripheral attack on the former world champion earned him a decided advantage over Aries, who is unable to stand on his own two feet. Joe chops away at Aries with thunderous right arms, and continues with a corner-based striking frenzy, grounding Aries in the BDC corner. Low-Ki is walking around ring-side, in an attempt to scout the action as best he can. “Austin Aries” resonates throughout the arena, and the 2-time Ring of Honor World Heavyweight Champion gains his second wind and starts to take the fight to Joe. A leapfrog over the big man in the corner, and Aries is ready to start in on the offensive. He attempts his signature Brainbuster vertical suplex, but is unable to lift the 300+ pounder. Samoa Joe gains the upper hand and tosses Aries out of the ring and down to where Low-Ki can get involved. Ki runs his mouth from a few feet away, careful not to get his BDC bandmate disqualified in the process. Joe joins the two and mounts a diabolical assault on Aries with striking right elbows to the sensitive trapezius muscle of Austin Aries. Back inside the squared—or six-sided—circle, Austin tries to settle the score but is consistently caught off-guard by Samoa Joe. He locks Aries in a cross-face variation to wear him down and follows up with a full body attack and a brisk kick to the back of the head. Despite his heelish tendencies and BDC affiliation, Joe receives a warm reception from the United Kingdom crowd; “Joe is gonna kill you” echoes throughout the arena as the superheavyweight judoka continues with reckless abandon, managing to thwart each of Austin’s offensive attempts. When Austin finally gained the upper hand, he mounted Samoa Joe in the corner and proceeded to deliver ten right hands as the crowd counted along. Joe tossed him over the top rope, but Aries landed on the apron. He hit Joe with a neck breaker, using the rope to his advantage, and capitalizing with a big drop kick. Once again, Austin Aries went for his Brainbuster vertical suplex, but was dragged down to the ground by the submission specialist, who proceeded to wrench down on the arm of Aries. In control once again, Samoa Joe lifted Aries onto the top rope and set to deliver his signature Muscle Buster. Austin Aries powered out and finally knocked Joe down to his back with a spear-like suicide dive to the outside. With Joe flat on his back, Austin Aries played to the audience, ready to wrap this up once and for all. But that’s when Low-Ki became involved, striking Aries from the back, causing Earl Hebner to call for the bell. Both Beat Down Clan members brought Austin back into the ring and did just as their name would suggest—they beat him down. Samoa Joe held Austin Aries as Low-Ki prepared to strike with the solid steel briefcase. Aries then slipped out of Joe’s grasp, causing Ki to hit Joe instead. Austin hit Low-Ki and requisitioned his briefcase, leaving the ring as both BDC members struggled to stand. While one number one contender was on his way out of the arena, another was just making his way down the aisle. Rockstar Spud—who is in possession of the X-Division briefcase—runs down to ringside as Low-Ki is still dazed from the effects of Austin’s assault. His head is bandaged from the effects of last week’s Hair vs. Hair match, but hands the briefcase to Earl Hebner nonetheless. The bell rings and Spud hits the “underdog” on Low-Ki; after a quick 1-2-3, Rockstar Spud is your NEW X-Division champion in less than 8 seconds.

Before anything else goes down inside the ring, camera’s catch up to Bram and Magnus who are halfway into what seems to be a serious street fight in the parking garage. Magnus is in firm control as he beats Bram through a set of double doors asking, “Where you going?” Magnus puts Bram on a rolling equipment cart and sends him careening into a set of red and yellow garbage cans that look like giant ketchup and mustard containers. This is the first time since Bram attacked Magnus in New York City that the former world champion is able to get this much offense without worrying about any defense. Bram struggles to get away from Magnus, who is throwing heavy boxes of who-knows-what while dragging him through the darkened halls of Wembley Arena. Josh Matthews reminds us that Magnus promised to spill Bram’s blood on the “hallowed grounds of London,” and this could be his last chance as TNA is close to returning to America. Magnus knocks Bram through the curtain and into the arena; Bram trips and stumbles down the aisle toward the ring where Magnus goes absolutely crazy. Magnus leaves Bram between the six sides and grabs a steel chair from the ringside area. He returns to Bram and unleashes a fury of heinous shots to Bram’s back. He turns his former best friend over and prepares to drill the business-end of the chair directly into Bram’s sternum, but is stopped by referees Brian Stiffler and Brian Hebner. Magnus broke through the line of defense and clotheslined Bram, taking the microphone and warning, “You just took a match and burned your hopes and dreams to the ground!” More officials and members of security hit the ring and separated them further, until Magnus’s wife Mickie James appeared and started attacking Bram as well. The referees kept both Mickie and Magnus at bay long enough for Bram to retreat up the ramp-way, but Magnus still wasn’t finished. He followed behind Bram, stalking him like an animal, and delivered a crippling snap-power bomb to Bram on the crux of the entryway.

The TNA Knockouts are next with the title on the line. The first to appear under Impact’s beautiful big screen “TNA-tron” is the former Knockout Champion Awesome Kong, who saunters to ringside to the beat of her menacing entrance tune. Gail Kim is the second to arrive, running down the aisle slapping hands with the UK crowd, wearing a black cut-off t-shirt that says “London.” The TNA Knockouts Champion Taryn Terrell doesn’t receive the same ovation as Gail Kim, but is most certainly favored over the depraved Kong. Both babyfaces set to work together and team against the monstrous Kong, who thwarts their advances with little-to-no effort of her own. Gail kicks Kong in the stomach, but Kong is quick enough to send the charging former champion speeding head first into the current title holder. Kong conquers them with an avalanche splash in the corner and capitalizes with a powerful sleeper hold slam. Neither Taryn nor Gail can gain any momentum as Awesome Kong continues to throw them around the ring by their hair, keeping them separated and thus unable to form a lasting alliance. Awesome Kong hits Gail Kim with a hard spike to the back, as Taryn Terrell ascends the ropes behind the Amazon’s back. Taryn jumps but is clotheslined in mid-air by Awesome Kong, who then sets her sights on Kim once again. Kong lifted Gail Kim into the air for a powerbomb, but was stopped by Taryn who rolled them both up in a very innovative pin-attempt. Taryn hits the ropes and jumps from the second story onto Awesome Kong with a drop kick, sending Kong reeling back toward the center of the ring. Taryn hits the ropes one more time and jumps from the top with a cross body onto Kong, nearly earning a pinfall then and there. Awesome Kong came back with a quick burst of energy, but Taryn Terrell countered with a devastating Diamond Cutter. Kong vacated the ring in an attempt to regroup, and both Taryn and Gail sought to capitalize from the top rope. The two women tried to climb from the same corner and instead of focusing on Awesome Kong, Gail Kim and Taryn Terrell began mixing it up with one another. Taryn fell to the canvas, and Gail Kim flew to the floor, landing cross body on Kong and earning a raucous reception from the audience. Kim then hit Taryn with a sunset flip into a powerbomb out of the corner, but was unable to achieve victory. She shoved the sole of her shoe into Taryn’s throat and attempted the “Eat Defeat,” but was rolled up by the champion for a successful 1-2-3 combination. As Taryn stood tall in the ring with her belt in hand, she looked off into the distance at Awesome Kong, almost on the brink of tears and unware of what might await her next week.

The Revolution almost ended the career of Jeff Hardy in an instant when James Storm knocked him out on top of the steel cage at Lockdown, sending him plummeting to the steel steps below. Since then there’s been more than bad blood between Jeff’s brother Matt and the leader of the Revolution. Two weeks ago Bram went one-on-one with Matt Hardy and was asked by the Cowboy to “take him out.” Hardy is still in service however, and about to go head-to-head with James Storm in a no holds barred match. Storm heads down the entryway with every member of the Revolution in tow—the odds will most certainly be in the Cowboy’s favor this evening. Matt Hardy is happy to take the challenge and is cheered by the overwhelmingly positive response from the live audience. Storm meets Hardy halfway down the ramp and the match finally begins when Hardy rolls the Cowboy into the ring. Matt gets to work supplying their match by going deep under the ring and tossing an array of chairs and trash cans toward Storm. Manik grabs Hardy by the leg as he tries to enter the ring, which gives the Cowboy an opening to start things off in his favor. Hardy comes back with the trash can and he and Storm trade blows with the can and its lid. Hardy knocks James Storm flat on his back and exits the ring once more, climbing the ropes where he is tripped up by both the Great Sanada and Manik. James Storm readies two chairs in close proximity to one another and delivers a vertical suplex to Matt Hardy from the top rope and through the steel. Abyss is on the outside and raises his scarlet satin sack of thumbtacks—try saying that three times fast—and hands them to his ‘fearless’ leader. The Cowboy litters the canvas with a line of golden tacks and attempts to plant Hardy directly in their path. Matt however has plans of his own and throws the Cowboy into the tacks instead, following up with a big elbow drop for a near-fall. The Revolution drags referee Brian Stiffler out of the ring before he can count three, and the match turns into a 5-on-1 assault. All of the Cowboy’s allies equip themselves with weaponry; Khoya lifts a non-folding chair above his head, and Josh Matthews asks, “What kind of chair does Khoya have–?!” Funniest line of the night. Hardy retrieved the mysterious chair that Matthews was unfamiliar with and hit the Indian athlete in the back, leading Taz to exclaim, “Oh! That un-folding chair!” Matt did away with the distractions, finishing off Manik with a Twist of Fate, and reentered the ring hoping to end things with the Cowboy as well. Storm had Matt Hardy well scouted however and used his momentum to send him head-first into a steel chair propped in the corner. With both men reeling, it was anybody’s match; Matt Hardy leaned over the top rope and for the second time tonight, the Muta mist came into play thanks to the Great Sanada. Hardy was blinded and tripped directly into Storm’s Last Call Superkick. Matt Hardy was on spaghetti legs from the initial shot when the “Cowboy” sent him spilling over with a second—far more devastating superkick. James Storm and Revolution are victorious, but that’s not enough as the sadistic Storm seeks to removed BOTH Hardy brothers from TNA Impact. They held Hardy by the arms on the lip of the apron, while James Storm berating him from behind: “Matt Hardy! I am the reason your brother is out of professional wrestling! And now you can visit your brother—in the hospital!” Storm swung his cowbell bull rope and struck Hardy in the small of the back in what amounted to a pretty anti-climactic end to an enjoyable match.

The theme of the entire night has been the TNA World Heavyweight Championship match between Kurt Angle and the current title holder, Bobby Lashley. The show has been filled with interviews, promos, vignettes, and all sorts of propaganda hyping this as a “dream match” in TNA. I’m not going to argue that because it’s certainly going to be an interesting bout for the most prestigious prize on Impact. But a dream match—I’m not sure about that. Kurt Angle’s music hits as he walks out of his dressing room in the back, just like Goldberg during the good old days of WCW. He walks briskly down the dark hall and through catering, arriving at the shadowy Gorilla position, where he waited for the beat to drop and the Trademarc lyrics to hit. The challenger makes his way down the ramp as Josh Matthews starts to recite each of Angle’s accolades including but not limited to his success as an Olympian, as well as his run with the WWE. The beginning of Bobby Lashley’s music begins to play on repeat just as Angle’s did, skipping until the Destroyer is ready to enter the arena. He hits himself in the face and jumps in one spot—kind of like the current WWE World Champion—and finally makes his way through the curtain. According to Josh Matthews, this is Bobby Lashley’s 72nd day as World Champion, which might not sound like much—but it’s pretty long considering he won the belt during the reboot of Impact back in January. The bell rings and Jeremy Borash introduces the champion and challenger, and referee Brian Hebner allows both men the chance to check out what they’re fighting for. A brief commercial break occurs before the match might get underway, and we return to the action just as the bell sounds. They circle one another and prepare to lock up, but back away for a moment until Lashley is the first to attack. He goes for Angle’s leg and is unable to drop the Olympic Gold Medalist to the ground. They slink away from one another again, and Lashley comes back with a more calculated take-down, knocking Kurt off his feet, if only for a moment. The action doesn’t truly get underway until either man is done feeling out his opponent. They enter into a mat-based amateur style that allows for Kurt to hit Bobby Lashley with four consecutive Suplexes. Lashley finds himself on the wrong side of the Ankle Lock, but gains leverage when he makes it to the ropes, forcing a break by Brian Hebner. Lashley begins retreating from the match, dropping in and out of the ring to catch his breath. Angle chases the champion and reaches him just in time to drop head first on the steel barricade. Lashley is in control now, and uses his power advantage over the venerable ring general. Lashley seems to be losing support from the crowd, and was even booed during his cowardly escape from Angle just a moment ago. He punishes Angle in the center of the ring with both a powerful Suplex and an unnerving bow and arrow submission, while the audience chants in favor of the challenger. Kurt starts to mount a comeback beginning with a leap from the middle rope, and this match turns into a donnybrook where left and right hands reign supreme. Another German suplex by the “Wrestling Machine”—and then another, and another. Kurt Angle is laying into Bobby Lashley the same as Brock Lesnar did to John Cena at Summerslam 2014. The straps come down and Kurt Angle means business when he prepares to apply the Ankle Lock. Lashley kicks him away and capitalizes with a running powerslam, but is unable to achieve victory. Another commercial break and once we return, Kurt Angle is in command and turning Bobby Lashley over by his ankle. They’re separated by another rope break, and Lashley comes back with an attempted Spear. Kurt Angle hits Lashley in the face with a big boot and follows up with an Olympic Slam for a near three count on the champion. “This is awesome,” is all anyone can hear as this match winds down to the final few moments. Bobby Lashley hits Kurt Angle with a sadistic Spear, and is shocked when the former champion answers the call before the three count. Bobby is out of ideas and resorts to the top rope—a place that he’s considerably unfamiliar with. He jumps across the ring where nobody is home; Kurt Angle ascends the same ropes and hits the Destroyer with a cross body. Lashley used Angle’s momentum to flip them both over and applied an Ankle Lock of his own, directly in the center of the ring. Angle screamed in pain, unable to reach the ropes as he struggled to find a way out. Finally he made it to the edge of the ring where Lashley was forced to relinquish the hold. Kurt hit Bobby with a surprising Olympic Slam for a 2-and-three quarters count. The Destroyer took advantage of the noticeably exhausted veteran Angle by applying a cross arm bar, using his legs for leverage. Angle summoned nothing but sheer power and determination to remove himself from hold, and once again locked the champion in his signature Ankle submission. The crowd went crazy, stomping the floor and shaking the camera as Kurt dropped to the ground and grapevined the champion’s leg. Bobby cried in agony as he reached for the ropes, but was unable to find the same strength that Kurt did just a moment ago. Perhaps thinking of his MMA career, the Destroyer Bobby Lashley had no choice but to slap the mat in submission. Your winner and TNA World Heavyweight Champion for the sixth time—the only Olympic Gold Medalist in Professional Wrestling, Kurt Angle.

This was the second in a series of two very strong weeks for Total Nonstop Action Wrestling. Last week I stated—following the BLOODBATH between Carter and Spud—that I only hope Impact might be able to keep up its forward momentum. I’m not keen on Kurt Angle winning the world title, as I think there are far more deserving wrestlers on the roster that aren’t 46-years old. But who can argue with Kurt’s one-of-a-kind career? Next week’s episode of Impact returns stateside and features the return of Jeff Hardy in a “revenge” match inside the six sides of steel with the Cowboy James Storm. Until then, this has been Mark Adam Haggerty reminding you to keep checking out Cheap-Heat, follow me on Facebook by LIKING “The B+ Players,” and be sure to look for my upcoming podcast by the same name.