16 Superstars as 007 Villains

This has been a landmark year for Hollywood with enormous Blockbusters such as the Avengers 2, Jurassic World, Ant Man, and more. The world is abuzz with the upcoming Star Wars Episode VII, but moviegoers seem to have found at least a “quantum of solace” in the latest James Bond film “Spectre.” I wrote a column a few months back wherein I placed residents of the WWE Universe in the Star Wars Galaxy. For more on that concept CLICK HERE. Today we’re talking about James Bond Villains and their pro wrestling doppelgangers—my name is Mark Haggerty and this is “16 Superstars as 007 Villains.”
 

Daniel Bryan as Doctor No
From “Dr. No” (1962)
The first Official 007 film was released in 1962 and featured a Canadian thespian named Joseph Wiseman as the titular villain—Doctor No. When tasked with filling the role of Doctor No, one mustn’t look any further than the leader of the YES—formerly NO—Movement, Daniel Bryan. Daniel might not have metal hands and he isn’t affiliated with any evil organization, but the mild mannered Bryan has a propensity to fly off the handle now and again—just like the cold and calculating Doctor Julius No.
 

The Undertaker as Red Grant
From “From Russia With Love” (1963)
James Bond’s second cinematic adventure featured a deranged assassin named Red Grant, played by the Academy Award nominated actor Robert Shaw. Perhaps the most sinister member of the WWE roster is a man formerly known as “Texas Red”—the Undertaker. James Bond has fought countless henchmen on board speeding trains—including former WWE World Heavyweight Champion Dave Bautista—but I’d be curious to see how 007 might fair against the Dead Man.
 

“The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase as Auric Goldfinger
From “Goldfinger” (1964)
One of the most infamous millionaires in motion picture history is the gold-smuggling Austrian aristocrat Auric Goldfinger. With land and holdings located everywhere from Dusseldorf to Louisville, Goldfinger was living proof that “everybody has a price.” When it comes to mega-bucks in the WWE however, nobody can top the unequivocal wealth of the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase. Much like Goldfinger, Ted DiBiase has been known to pay other, more menacing figures to handle his dirty work, while he sits back and reaps the rewards.
 

Mr. Fuji as Odd Job
From Goldfinger (1964)
Odd Job—played by Hawaiian professional wrestler Harold Sakata—served as Auric Goldfinger’s right-hand man and personal bodyguard. It was Odd Job who fought James Bond to a startling conclusion inside Fort Knox. Another tough talent from the island of Hawaii was the former WWWF Tag Team specialist-turned manager, Mr. Fuji. During the latter half of the 1980s, Mr. Fuji shaved his uncontrolled hair and started dressing in a suit and tie with a black bowler’s cap—making him identical to the iconic Bond-baddie.
 

Edge as Le Chiffre
From “Casino Royale” (1954, 1967, 2006)
Released as part of CBS Television’s Climax Mystery Theater in 1954, Casino Royale was the first James Bond adventure ever produced. Le Chiffre has been an integral component of every ‘Casino’ adaptation, including the 2006 Official release wherein Mads Mikkelson portrayed an “Ultimate Opportunist.” There haven’t been many gambling gimmicks in professional wrestling, although one annual tradition has become increasingly unpredictable as the stakes continue to rise—the Money in the Bank. Edge was the first recipient of the synonymous briefcase, and won his first heavyweight title in 2006 after cashing in on John Cena. Le Chiffre, sadly, was a bit more careless with his important briefcases.
 

Billy & Chuck as Mr. Wint & Mr. Kidd
From “Diamonds are Forever” (1971)
Diamonds are Forever featured an ensemble crew of villains with particular attention paid to a pair of ambiguously affectionate friends named Mr. Wint & Mr. Kidd. Their homosexual attraction to one another was only hinted at, and never outright declared—similar to the awfully close quarters kept by former tag team champions Billy and Chuck.
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Ron Simmons/Farooq as Dr. Kananga/Mr. Big
From “Live and Let Die” (1973)
When Roger Moore took on the mantle of James Bond in 1973, he did so against a foreign diplomat by day—and a supernatural crime boss by night. Famed actor Yaphet Kotto played the schizophrenic Dr. Kananga—AKA “Mr. Big”—a multinational menace with eyes on controlling the heroin trade in America. Ron Simmons was an All-American college athlete who went on to become the first African American world champion in wrestling history. Although Simmons seemed friendly and personable, he had a dark side that was aching to emerge—enter Farooq and the Nation of Domination in 1996, and the rest is history.
 

Bret Hart as Francisco Scaramanga
From “The Man With the Golden Gun” (1974)
In 1974 James Bond met his match in Francisco Scaramanga—known as the Man with the Golden Gun—played by celebrated actor of stage and screen Christopher Lee. Scaramanga wasn’t your run-of-the-mill psychopath with an army of devout followers, but an intelligent and sophisticated hit-man. Bret Hart wasn’t your run-of-the-mill main eventer with 36-inch pythons and swarms of Hulkamaniacs, but an intelligent and sophisticated HIT MAN—just like Scaramanga.
 

Snitksy as Jaws
From “The Spy Who Loved Me” (1977) and “Moonraker” (1979)
Jaws is perhaps the most recognizable villain in all of James Bond. Played by Richard Kiel, the 7-foot tall giant tore his victims to shreds using his razor sharp titanium teeth. Jaws was first introduced in 1977 as an assassin working for Carl Stromberg, and returned for the following film as a personal bodyguard to Hugo Drax. Though Jaws was introduced as an evildoer, he soon saw the error in his ways and helped save James Bond’s life—so it “wasn’t his fault.” Snitsky is another monster with a memorable set of chompers, who wreaked havoc throughout the WWE not once—but twice!
 

Ric Flair as Max Zorin
From “A View to a Kill” (1985)
James Bond villains have been portrayed by a number of popular actors, but probably none more recognizable than Max Zorin played by Christopher Walken. Zorin was an eccentric industrialist who sought to control the computer chip marketplace by destroying Silicon Valley. Zorin was the personification of excess in the ‘80s; with his tinted glasses and glorious blonde locks, there’s only one wrestler who could ever fill the shoes of Christopher Walken. And that’s the “Nature Boy” Ric Flair!
 

“The Bad Guy” Razor Ramon as Franz Sanchez
From “License to Kill” (1989)
License to Kill was the final movie based on original Ian Fleming source material until the 2006 release of Casino Royale. Bond must foil the plans of the leader of a Central American Drug Cartel named Franz Sanchez. Sanchez is played by Italian American Robert Davi, much the same way Scarface is played by Al Pacino. Cut from the same cloth as the aforementioned traffickers is another “bad guy” billed from the Caribbean, played by Maryland’s-own Scott Hall—Razor Ramon. With gold around his neck and a toothpick betwixt his lips, Razor could have been another one of Sanchez’s lackeys—right alongside Benicio Del Toro.
 

Randy Orton as 006 Alec Trevelyan
From “GoldenEye” (1995)
In 1995 Double-O Seven returned after a 6-year hiatus and was forced to contend with his former best friend—006 Alec Trevelyan. Trevelyan hatches a plan to steal every pound from the Bank of London with the added caveat of launching an EMP blast to cover his tracks. Trevelyan is in many ways the antithesis to James Bond, but serves as his equal throughout the film. Should WWE acquire the rights to the James Bond franchise, they’d clearly position John Cena as the British Superspy. And in that case, there’s no greater polar opposite to Cena than the “Viper” Randy Orton.
 

Eric Bischoff as Elliot Carver
From “Tomorrow Never Dies” (1997)
Elliot Carver—owner of the Hamburg-based newspaper Tomorrow—was a multimedia magnate set on ruling the world by reporting the news before it happened. In 1995 Eric Bischoff brought World Championship Wrestling to a whole new audience with Monday Nitro on TNT. Bischoff also hoped to achieve world domination, but had his sights set on the world of professional wrestling. While Bischoff couldn’t make news before it happened, he managed to stay ahead of the curve and buried his competition by sweeping their storylines and giving away the finishes for Monday Night Raw.
 

CM Punk as Renard
From “The World is Not Enough” (1999)
The Anarchist Renard might go down as one of the more forgettable foes with whom James Bond has tangled, but his plan was simple—set off a nuclear device and destroy humanity. But what happens when “The World is Not Enough?” CM Punk was once regarded as the resident anarchist of World Wrestling Entertainment, although he was dropping pipe bombs—not nuclear carbon rods. While CM Punk doesn’t have a bullet in his brain, he does have a chip on his shoulder. And much like Renard, Punk lives his life according to his own rules.
 

Eddie Guerrero as Raoul Silva (Tiago Rodriguez)
From “Skyfall” (2012)
In 2012 Skyfall hit theatres and set box-office records the world over—becoming the highest grossing film in the United Kingdom, and holding that distinction until the 2015 release of Spectre. Raoul Silva—played by Academy Award Winner Javier Bardem—was a former MI6 operative gone rogue. A computer expert with a penchant for widespread chaos, Silva’s ultimate goal was to kill M—played by Judi Dench—and take down the British Government in the process. His Latin heritage and bleached blonde hair might remind audiences of another “criminal mastermind”—a former world champion who liked to “lie, cheat, and steal”—the late Eddie Guerrero.
 

Mr. McMahon as Ernst Stavro Blofeld
From “From Russia with Love” (1963), “Thunderball” (1965), “You Only Live Twice” (1967), “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” (1969) “Diamonds Are Forever” (1971), and “Spectre” (2015)
Ernst Stavro Blofeld is the most iconic villain in the entire lexicon of James Bond lore. His voice was heard in From Russia With Love and Thunderball—but his face wasn’t shown until the 1967 Blockbuster You Only Live Twice. Blofeld disappeared from the screen in 1971—with a brief “return” in For Your Eyes Only—and remained absent for nearly 45 years. Blofeld has most recently been played by Academy Award Winner Christoph Waltz, who revealed himself as the catalyst behind every negative event in James Bond’s life. He is most certainly the “higher power” in the James Bond Universe—but what about the WWE Universe? Who pulls the strings from behind the scenes? The answer is clear: Vince McMahon. Although I’m not sure how Vinnie Mack feels about cats.
 

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