Adam Thinks #6 I’m Back

Adam Thinks #6 I’m Back

So, I took a month off form writing about wrestling here on Cheap Heat to do some other important life stuff. We’ll call it unavoidable because if I call it Dave no one will understand what that means. I’ve been keeping up with the good stuff though. Like how my predictions form a few columns back sort of came true when Magnus, Eric Young, and Booby Roode all signed with GFW. Other than that I mean, it’s not like I missed anything, right?

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Well…..all right then. I guess July was a pretty damn eventful month for good or ill in the wrestling world. Mostly for ill. Not that people are helping. I kinda feel like the online wrestling community is currently a hell of a lot like that church fight scene in Kingsman. And if you don’t understand what that means, you need to go find out. That said, I think we can pull ourselves out of this weird horrible month. So let’s do that here and now. Or at least, let’s do a teeny tiny bit of that. Let’s discuss random topics.

 

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Okay. Spiffy. Let’s start with Neville.

I have high hopes for Neville. I know some people have already started letting go of their own hopes, but I am not among them. I’ll tell you why, because that’s sort of the entire fucking point of being a column writer. I’ve been struck by a pattern for some time now. Vince and company really really want a high flyer to push to the moon (then preferably jump off of it). If you look closely you’ll see they’ve been trying to pull this off for quite a while. Jeff Hardy, John Morrison, Shelton Benjamin, RVD, and a few others have been the beneficiary and then later the victim of this desire. All of them got heavy pushes for their daredevil ways, and all of them eventually fell to the wayside for a variety of reasons. Yet when one fell, another would always rise until they showed they couldn’t be that guy.

Granted, said failings were not always the fault of the guy in question. Hell, I could a whole column on Morrison alone. The set of circumstances that led to his depushing and eventual removal form the roster are kind of ridiculous. However, let’s focus on Neville. He’s that next guy. The big hope that the WWE can push a high flying crowd pleaser. They’ve tried to turn him into a superhero. They’ve protected the shit out of his finisher, going so far as to make sure that even the likes of John Hilary Cena didn’t even kick out of it. Those of you who are being pessimistic ought to consider that one for a moment. They haven’t precisely booked him great, but they’re not exactly booking anyone great right at the moment, except for probably The New Day. Because…it’s me. What did you expect?

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You knew I was gonna sneak one of these in right? You totally should’ve known.

 

Neville is going to get his push you guys. They WANT him to be over. They WANT him to be competing for titles that are half his size. The thing is that he has something the other people on the list almost never had. Consistency. He can do the amazing thing and then repeat it. And repeat it. And then do it with a twist. None of the other potentials had that capability except for RVD and he was already long in the tooth and high as a kite by the time it was relevant. Neville might go through a change or two, but make no mistake, the guy is going upward. I’ll let you decide if the pun was intended. Either way, let’s move on to a different topic.

 

Titus O’Neil impressed me on commentary.

He sat down at that table and he OWNED the entire ten minute period he was in. I honestly never realized he had that level of charisma and presence. He clearly discomfited JBL and Byron Saxton. He brought his less charismatic partner in with a brilliant running gag. He worked fairly well with Cole. He advanced storylines. By the time he and Darren Young left I was pretty much ready to say let’s turn all commentary over to Miz and Titus. All of it.

I wanted to see more of Titus. I hope the WWE takes note and also ignores the complaining that I bet a few JBL shaped people did. The guy’s got something. Use it. Let him be in more segments. Let he and Darren go toe to toe with New Day backstage. Let’s see if we can make the kind of magic that you’re hoping guys make every time they open their mouths. I think you could really have something special there if you just run with it. Let them grab a third guy for their team and do a competing Freebird style team. That would sure as hell be unique. Just do SOMETHING. Don’t waste a great display of personality and charisma like we saw. Use it. And maybe make JBL do something instead of lazily coasting.

 

Let’s talk about Bray Wyatt.

After drifting aimlessly for a while, it looks like they’re getting smarter and giving him some acolytes back. Obviously Luke Harper returned to his main sidekick ways and the rumor says that Adam Rose is returning to his Leo Kruger role and joining up. That could be quite good and in my opinion, an upgrade over Rowen. All three guys can tlak for starters, and all three guys can work as well. I’ve never been big on old sheep face, so for me this represents not just the WWE sort of admitting that the cult leader should actually…you know…..have a cult, but also that maybe they need to do something with it.

The fact that it’s all happening in the midst of Wyatt’s feud with continual near superstar Roman Reigns tells me that they have further plans. Granted, these plans probably don’t end with Wyatt winning, but hey, plans are better than…..pretty much the entire last year if we’re being honest. Throw in the almost proper usage of Roman Reigns as a sort of relaxed sarcastic badass and we could actually be in for an entertaining time as it ramps up. I’m cautiously intrigued by what could come next. Especially if these moves represent a smart and more consistent booking plan for both Wyatt and Reigns. The lack of both smart and consistent booking has already hindered both men to a severe degree. Not to mention Ambrose or Rollins.

Because there's never a wrong time for Python

Because there’s never a wrong time for Python

 

Okay. Last one. You ALL owe Michael Cole an apology.

Especially if you’re Vince McMahon. But that’s not what I mean. Now, some of you may not have seen Beast in the East. It’s on the WWE Network and easy to watch if you sign up. I’d tell you how much it is but I can’t remember how much it costs. Ether way, if you didn’t see it (or saw it and weren’t paying attention) you missed something beautiful. Michael Cole actually got the chance to do his job.

I know what you’re thinking. You’ve become so numb to the Cole you hear on TV week in and week out. You may have even decided long ago that he was never any good to begin with. Well, you’re wrong. Cole is actually DAMN good at his job. Beast in the East was a great example. He got to work without the usual nonsense and it was phenomenal. He called moves. He stayed with the action. He was knowledgeable and informative. He was a throwback to what many of you have probably forgotten, which is the old Smackdown days when he was at the table with Taz.

This may seem somewhat unbelievable to you. Less believable than say a headline that reads “Man Accidentally Shot in Face when Bullet Ricochets off Armadillo”. Well, here’s the thing. Both that headline and Cole being talented are real things that actually exist. And no, you don’t have to look up that armadillo thing. You already know it was in West Texas. A place so weird that the rest of Texas is okay with capitalizing the west part just so you think it’s a different state.

Michael Cole is a hell of an announcer. The man used to cover wars. Real ones. Not from the studio, I mean form within the countries currently at war. The guy knows his stuff. But what YOU have long decided is his lack of ability is really a dozen people in his ear pushing and prodding him to say this and that and do these things and just generally screwing it all up. If you still don’t believe I will implore you one final time. Go watch the show and listen for yourself. In the meantime, I’m going to go to bed and hope nothing major happens between now and when I wake up, or the boss is going to have me rewriting this. So I will leave you with the only thing I can.

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Millions of dollars.
Millions of dollars.
Millions of dollars.